When a mustard seed is all you need, because God understands small

The Bible is full of possibilities. It makes a mockery of being boxed in and colouring within lines of expectations. It's within the best selling book of all time that we learn of infinite possibilities.

It's where we learn that dry bones can live, if you speak to it and let God breathe life into it.

It's where a boy can defeat a giant with a sling, a stone and God's unseen hand.

It's where Daniel can sit with the king of the Jungle and not be moved.

If you don't believe me, ask Moses about the Red Sea.

There is another way to phrase the possibilities of the Bible. In one word.    

Impossible.

I've been to a lot of churches. I attended one, where hugs were new every Sunday morning. Their patron saint was Thomas the Apostle. Yes. Doubting Thomas.

I like Thomas. He was real. Honest. He said 'Except I shall see in his hands the prints of the nails,and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side,I will not believe.'(John 20:25)He would not believe,even though his fellow disciples told him they had seen him. And who could blame him?  Do we always believe others when they say they have had an encounter with Jesus?

Thomas the disciple wasn't an extra ordinary human, he was just a mere man, Jesus- another man that walked alongside him.

But...

How could Thomas after seeing Jesus' miracles, had the benefit of his teaching, having eaten with him, drank with him, learning at his feet not believe that Jesus could overcome death and be raised from the dead? Didn't he remember what happened with Lazarus?

He didn't believe because he was a mere mortal, as mortals we often suffer from forgetfulness and preface hard things not as possibilities but as impossible.

The possibilities are infinite in God.

Hebrews 11:6 But without faith, it is Impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.'

The Bible is about possibilities.

That word faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1) is poignant.

We live in a tangible world. We see all we want, we hold, touch, feel and smell everything we hold dear.And many things we don't. Evidence is tangible, it can be proven, over and over. It has a formula.

I was going through a difficult time, and a friend said, just have faith. Where do I buy that? How do I hold it and put it in a box? That is ...well...Impossible. In my search to find faith I landed on the verse, 'faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains'(Mathew 17:20). Hmmmm...I thought, OK, let's see how much faith I can muster. Then I did one thing. I Googled a mustard seed and the picture astounded me. It shamed my unbelief. It quieted impossible.It was small. So small.

The picture shifted things, I only had energy for small. Small could move a mountain. Small could slay giant.

Possibility slayed impossibility.

Now to pleasing God - if all things are possible in  Him and through Him, if He mentions impossible, you know it's serious. You know you've been sent straight to the principal's office. You're in big trouble!

A friend and I were talking recently and my doubts were exposed, yet again, and she reminded me - without faith, it's impossible to please God. Doubt is the absence of faith. Then you find yourself on the outside of God's will. You find yourself living with impossible when He already told you all is possible.

I'm a doubter, I think the reason I don't take anything at face value is because - I'm a thinker. I have an over active imagination and brain. I like to oppose just for the sake of opposing- because researching the opposing point is just more fun- it's more challenging. It goes against the grain.  After-all, what good is a brain if you don't exercise it? if you don't think things through;if you don't get your own understanding?

I believe I doubt because when I believe in things, in people, more often than not, they disappoint. And doubt started to accuse belief. It called belief a liar. A heart-breaker. A cheat. An impossible dream.

Doubt, like all things, has an origin, it begins with a planted seed. A seed that dies in us, a seed that we put out in sunlight. A seed we water. A seed that grows. A seed that bears fruit. The fruit of doubt, leave a stain on the teeth, and a bitter after taste on the tongue. It aches the belly. It blocks the heart. It rots the soul.

The fruits of doubt - fear- unbelief- insecurity-indifference- un-forgiveness - phobias. Impossibilities become endless.

The best way to kill a plant, is when it's a seed. The best way to kill a seed? Remove it from it's source of nourishment. This is one of the enemy's cleverest tricks.

Jesus knew we know and believe tangible, he knew we would wrestle with the body and the spirit man. I believe the mustard seed reference is deliberate. Its small, sometimes for most of us, it's the best that we can do- it's an apt small beginning  not to despise.


I understand small, sometimes all we see is small, all we feel is small, all we get is small. A small paycheck. A small raise. A small idea.A small start. Small makes many things possible. Even if you dream big- your biggest dream is small to God. You, he said cannot imagine all the things that he has planned for you. (1 Corinthians 2:9)Imagine that!

So much faith,possibilities, hope, purpose, can come from small.

 

There are times when having faith feels like that lie you tell yourself when you have a cheat day for 5 days straight. Others simplify it to being positive.Having good thoughts. Attracting positive energy from the 'universe'. Faith is more than positive thinking and I dare say bigger than the universe.

 I won't lie-faith is hard for me.Faith sometimes feels like hard concrete on soft shoulders. It's just not practical. 

But

That's where renewing of a mind comes in. When seeing the impossible becomes possible, when you lose your earthly vision and walk without the lines of expectations. You do that faith walk. You believe in possible dreams.

It is possible to please him, with faith, with belief, with holding on to the wind as it whistles through the trees.

I'll go with...blessed is he that will believe without seeing the nail pierced hand.(John 20:29) I'm there for that.

What is your 'possible' story? Share it here so we can grow in faith together.



Scripture Reading: Hebrews 11
 

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When delay feels like denial and you are just about ready to give up

When delay feels like denial and I am just about ready to give up, I Yell.
I yell at the driver in front of me that's moving as slow as my dreams,
I yell at my children and watch their eyes die.
I yell at the chicken for burning in the pot, but mostly, I really just want to YELL at God.

I want to say :

Hey God, I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm really tired of this almost state of being. I almost there- but almost doesn't count! It doesn't! What good is an almost perfect job? What good is an almost perfect husband I have never met ? What good is an almost breakthrough? Tell me!!

Almost. It doesn't count and I'm just done.

Mr. Jesus- I'm almost done with you. But. Almost doesn't count.

You're four days late- Lord I don't understand why you waited so long! If you are like me, and you find yourself in a jam and you are looking to an all knowing God to solve it- four days is just that- 4 days. I am counting 1 - 2 - 3 - 4! Four days- I waited, your move - now show up- just show up already!

I'm living in earth's time. Not heaven's time. And for me - time is almost over.
If it's a season- well that's 3 months- why do I have to live a season that lasting for years though?

I'm not Joseph, I'm not Job, I'm not Father Abraham, I'm just me. Tanya.
An ordinary girl, in an ordinary world wondering where is my super-natural breakthrough. Why isn't God fighting for me? Why isn't he making a way for me? Why, if he grants the desires of your heart- he doesn't just do it already?

I almost feel abandoned - but - almost doesn't count.

I do suppose that Joseph must have felt just like me when he sat in that prison cell waiting for his God to show up and show out. I do suppose he had days like this. Days when he felt denied. I wonder if he at any time almost gave up on God? I wonder what he said to himself in those days when the wind left and the air was hot with disappointment.


Those almost state days are the days where the wind is totally sucked out of the atmosphere, and all you feel is an angry heat. You become hard with yourself. You become hard with others. Those days are filled with regret and next day apologies.

On these days though - Mr. Jesus doles out extra grace. You have to allow yourself to feel it. You have to let the wind back in. Grace always wins.


What do you do when delay feels like denial and you almost want to give up on God?

Remember that almost - well - it doesn't count.

Those days, when your feet hit the cold hard tiles of life, you stand, on solid ground- put one foot in front of the other and inhale. Feel that breath? It's the breath of life and you've still got it. There is no almost about that! Which means you better make it count!


On these days pray, praise, plan. In that order. 

On those days when delay masquerades itself as denial, remember those 2 days that the wind was sucked out of the atmosphere and the heat scarred the whole earth. Remember that day 3 didn't almost come - it came with a wind that lifts you up in perfect peace. Remember the price paid to redeem your dreams - your hopes - your fears- your tears.


On those days:

Be patient with yourself.

Be patient with others.

Be patient with God.

When you cant see his plan, when you don't understand- TRUST HIS HEART

Scripture readings; Genesis 37- 41(Joseph's Story), Isaiah 26:3


Be sure to read this related post on Waiting: Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

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What your shadow teaches you about God's perfect light

I don't like people in my personal space, its a pet peeve.

I claim an arms length - 360°. Stand outside that circle - please; unless I invite you in. 

That's rare.

I smile a lot, a lot- that's not an invitation. I laugh even more- again, not an 

invitation. I'm sociable, approachable, an extroverted introvert - not 

invitations to come into my circle.

I guard my 360°.

I'm not big on hugging.

My family knows, my friends know. My kids, well, they know but they don't really care about my 360° of separation. They get to come in. They are the exception to my stupidity. 
 

Before I even had kids, I started going to a church that hugged. A lot. Hugs were new every Sunday morning. I groaned in anticipation and did the Christian boy dates Christian girl kinna hug...what's that you ask? Well, its that hug where you're so far apart that a train could pass through. You pat each other on the back and smile- toothless. 

Yes, that's how I greeted somebody in Jesus' name. It went on for years, I improved a tad, sometimes, the space could only accommodate a bicycle and the pats on the back became rubs- I tried- it was the best I could do.

I'm not a fan of happy morning people. I roll my eyes at their gleefulness.

I wasn't a big fan of hugging in relationships either, and public displays of affection? Nope, not me. I am that girl that yells-' Get a room!' And those priceless Kodak moments you see at the airports? Where people hug and spin in the air after being apart for a New York minute? Arrmmm...no!

It's not like I don't love or I'm not happy to see a person after a few days or weeks....it's...well...my happiness... is... Internal - yes- my happiness in an introvert.

And ain't nothing wrong with that!

Or is there?

Can you love with 360° of separation?

Psalm 91:1 - He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I was standing on the beach this summer, the sun tanning an X in my back, and I looked down and I was standing on my shadow. I hadn't seen my shadow in a bit, it's been following me around for ages but I just totally forgot about it. Adults lose the novelty and excitement of having a shadow.

But as shadows go, mine brought me to Psalm 91. How very close one has to be to another to be under their shadow!

I realized that I would be invading the Almighty's personal space to be under his shadow and my 360° of separation brought me to introspection. And a little bit of shame.

My mind took me investigating here,(the teacher in me) and I discovered to make a shadow you need just three things. 

1. Light 

2. An object 

3. A surface 

 Pretty simple stuff right?

The science of it is simply this, a shadow is made when an object blocks light- a dark object, the shadow will fall on the side farthest away from the light. If the light is before us the shadow falls behind us, if the light is behind of us, then the shadow falls in front ...you get the picture right? 

Light - the Son - Jesus is the light of the world.(John 8:12)

An object- translucent and opaque - like us...dark...blocks the light.

A surface - earth - let's cast our shadow on that.

A shadow is that bridge. 

There is a 360° coverage of shadow wherever there is light. God's got you covered.Interestingly, the science also reveals that the closer you go towards the light source the bigger the shadow gets,the reverse also true- this speaks volumes. That shadow that Jesus invites you to abide under, envelopes you the closer you are but even IF you aren't as close as you should be, you are still protected. Hope for the non-believer and back-sliders. God says abide under the shadow. Close. Breath to breath. Sharing a secret place. A vulnerable place. Up close and in a personal space.

Jesus knew all about the secret place of the most high, when he was on earth, whenever he was about to start something major, he always separated Himself, prayed and fasted. That's how you abide under the shadow- that's how you claim the protection. He knew. 

Psalm 91 is powerful, filled with promises. I used to read it and think, this could never apply to me, after all, who am I to be applying the same words the devil used to tempt Jesus? 
 

11-12'He will give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways, they shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thee dash thy foot against a stone.' 


Surely, this was written to fulfill Jesus' temptation by the devil only and could never apply to me! Am I to believe that if I abide in the secret place of the most high, under his shadow that he'll give his angels charge over.....me?!

I'll let that marinate overnight, so it can soak to the bones and plump up the flesh.

This is not an invitation for people to invade personal spaces now, its an invitation to examine why we feel like we need barriers between ourselves and God's people.

It's an invitation to examine why we can't love, hug, and give people the protection of an embrace, but demand it of God. Yes, He says nothing can separate us from His love but he also asks us this- how can you love God whom you hath not seen but hate your brother that you do see? We have to get our own humanity in touch and outside of separation.

If you can't be a part of my shadow, do I deserve the shadow of the Almighty?

Recently I heard a preacher say a smile is her overjoyed, over the moon response...its her 'yaay', its the best she can do after a lifetime of abuse. And I got that, I totally understood. I haven't had a lifetime of abuse but many life lessons through disappointments. It's why I have my 360, it was to protect, but overtime, like many man-made solutions- it had the opposite effect. Instead of protecting, it became a barrier. A self made prison of personal space. 


It's a long road back and a lot of cracks for a potter to repair but I think the potter I've got is up to the task, he comes highly recommended... So I'm about ready to relinquish control,

Control of the 360..

But it's not an invitation... Haha...it's more of a soft launch...give me some time and maybe a hug. Soon.

Do you have pet peeves that separates you from God's people?

Scriptures to ponder: Psalm 91, John 8.




Related post : How to be colour blind in a red hot summer of tears

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How to be colour blind in a red hot summer of tears

 

He walked on water.

He invited one of us to do the same.

He did.

Then he started to look where he was, he looked at the waves, he took his

eyes off God.

He became afraid.

He started to sink...

Until – he took His hand.

Lying on the shore, all I saw was red.

The blood.

Red blood, shed, for us – for what?

Redemption?

Freedom?

Relief?

I looked in disbelief at red on the shores

A baby, dead in red, blood red.

My heart sank.

I felt that pain only a parent can know. A child lost, hope dashed. And I cried

for the state of the world.

My heart screams why?

I feel hopeless. Helpless. Hapless.

Then I felt anger, angry that people are risking their lives to live as free

I am angry that people value borders over people

I am angry that countries are building walls instead of bridges

I am angry because Jesus gave his life already...

He gave his life already!!

What more is He supposed to do?

What more can He do?

He painted our freedom in red. Blood red.

But still red washes up on shores.

A baby in red.

And no one cares.

We post pictures of our dinner.

I'm sad.

I don't know what to say

I don't know how to pray

It's been a very hot summer

When the world screamed #blacklivesmatter

But

The only colour that really matters is red.

Blood red.

We fight to preserve a land that's not our own

Why don't these poor people leave us alone?

Our resources are already stretched thin

We don't want you,

Matters not the colour of your skin.

But if you looked to Him, and not on the wave

So many of these poor people could be saved

Red – washed up on the shore

A man froze the image in time

A world watched – for the very first time

A father wishes to be dead

Government official became talking heads

But

All I see is red.

Blood red.

Already shed.

 For Aylan.........

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How to forgive with an eraser called time

When you stare at a blank canvas 

 When you are a writer without words, 

When you have the story but you can't stain the stark white canvas with your blood soaked tears.

When the story is so deeply rooted, it wraps you from the soul of your feet to the crown of your head.

When you know that the story needs to be told, for it is no longer yours, because God says to use it, he showed you how to use it for he knows just who and how it will bless-

 but...

You wrestle with pride, you wrestle with a shame that's not your own.

People will know my pain, people will know where my dry bones live, they will connect to me in a way that I didn't want, they will be too close for comfort- inside my bubble that I alone breathe the freshest of stale air. When you know your test, those lived experience that almost broke you, yet didn't- needs to come out- the words begin to reluctantly flow and you start- possibly at the beginning.

Ezekiel 37 1:3 And He said to me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered. O Lord God though knowest.

As questions go, I'm definitely thinking, that question right there was fully loaded; and if I were asked it today, I would say an emphatic Yes, but a few years ago- I would have said no.

I had my own valley of dry bones. I did not prophesy to them. They did not live.

I remember conversations that my friends had in high school about their families, when it was a general conversation, I'd lend my colourful stories, and my mommy's Jamaican sayings but when the conversation became parent specific- daddy specific- I'd go. I'd become quiet. I'd have nothing to say.

There were times when I didn't get to escape fast enough and be asked about my dad- I'd very promptly say 'My father lives overseas-' I'd say it with a fortitude which resonated -no more questions please- but occasionally, a teenage girl wouldn't get it and would continue to ask. That's when my shame kicked in, and I would squeeze my toes into the soles of my shoes and died a little bit inside.

I had nothing to say. I didn't know him. Never met him. He was bones in a graveyard of unspoken conversations, unspoken advice about boys, un-felt hugs, un-heard fears. 

 Children internalize their own pains.

I think I learned to hate at this graveyard- but not people- just him.

I met my father once, for the first time- as a teenager- in college. It wasn't like Oprah. I had played and replayed those Oprah like reunions in my head, how we would reunite and there would be nothing but hugs, tears of joys, kisses and life would end with the 'happily ever after theme' but it didn't happen quite - like - that.

Parents carry their own pains.

It was awkward. My happily ever after dream was tattered, broken, in a desolate graveyard, yet there he stood and my heart ran for cover. No - dry bones cannot live.

He tried to make a mends, but it was too late, I could not relate, I could not dream. There was underlying resentment, there was underlying hate.

God knows our pains.

It's not that my life was bad without him, it's just that I told myself it would have been better. I would have made better choices. I would have picked better boyfriends. I would have been married. I would have had someone to fight for me. I would have had more - of everything- but oh how I was wrong.

 The story of Joseph and his brothers came to me as I started to peel a pineapple and an orange to make my morning salad. It was about 10am and I was hungry. My spirit said- fast today- until 12.

I rolled my eyes- yes I did- the juices from the orange dripped through my fingers and I rolled my eyes and said- really? I'm peeling the fruits though. I finished peeling the fruits, put them away and the fridge and spent some time with God and then he showed me something I never would have heard with a full stomach.

Children have to learn to forgive parents who have made mistakes by them.

My life would not have been better if my father was always a part of it, it would just have been different. Different doesn't equal better.

Imagine for a minute a famine, a famine so bad that people were willing to become slaves for food. Joseph's family, living in Canaan had money to buy food but they had no food. There was food in Egypt. They would get food from- bones. To Jacob, Joseph was dead. It had been 15+ years. To his brothers, he had been good as dead- it had been years since they sold him. The brothers went down to Egypt with a hope and a prayer and got not only food but restoration. The family's seemingly dry bones-lived.

Now see how different doesn't mean better? if Joseph was not sold, how would lives have been saved? Not just lives of Joseph's immediate family but a nation?
Gen 45: 5 Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.

God sees the whole story - we see the script - a day at a time.

Forgiveness is hard- ask Joseph.

Forgiveness is undeserved- ask Jesus- about us

Forgiveness is necessary- ask me

I too had my time of famine, as we all do, and you know what? My father, the earthly one, well he gave me grain- and put back the money in my sack too. This is not why I forgave him-

I forgave him because Jesus gave me an example of forgiveness.
I forgave him because you can't prophesy to those you hate,
I forgave him because you can't give life to those you hate.
I forgave him because I needed restoration.
I forgave him, for me and for him.

My only hope now is that he can forgive himself.

There are times when you look at a graveyard of bones, and all you can see for miles is just death. Oh, but GOD, has defeated death, so you no longer have to live in man made graves of guilt and shame.

I had a graduation from another college recently, my father came, he smiled, he was proud, it was a little closer to the Oprah like reunions- yet- it wasn't. It was real life- and the oldest wounds leave the darkest scars. But time has erasers.


^{Ezekiel 37:13} And ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves,¹⁴ And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the Lord have spoken it, and performed it, saith the Lord.

Ask me today if dry bones can live and I will tell you: Yes
Ask me today if that lost family member can be restored, I will tell you: Yes
Ask me today if that person that you 'sold into slavery' can show you love and forgiveness and I will tell you: Yes

Is anything too hard for God?

It takes a particular type of famine for us to go and seek that which was lost but even in what seems like forever, is an eraser called time.

In time, I erased hate with love
In time, I erased resentment with forgiveness

In time, I erased lost time with daily conversations

I write a new song on my heart.


I call you to action:
Will you forgive and honour a parent ?
will you trust God to let dry bones live?


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Leaving the Shell behind 

A bridge to a Cross

I have seen quotes circulating over he social media landscape, this is one of the favoured. "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice." This quote has been attributed to the world famous Jamaican  reggae singer/songwriter, Bob Marley, who's album Exodus was named the Best album of the 20th century by Time Magazine in 1999. I'm a Jamaican. I love my island and I love me some Bob Marley but...

'Strong is never your only choice'; for there is always weak.

Strength is not the only choice anyone ever has
There is always weakness
The world says, if you choose weakness
You are copping out
Refusing to fight,
Giving up,
Not living it up
But
I do not agree
It is in weakness that one gets free

See
I've been strong
All my life
I've been fighting,
Been smiling
Been moving
Been going
Being strong- for so very long
And

I'm tired
Just plain ole tired
I can't fight no more
I don't want to smile no more
Moving, yet going in circles
Being strong has served me long

Now I just want to be weak
In myself - strength - I do not want to seek.
I choose weak
I choose a safe place to fall
I'm giving up on that which I believed---
That, I had it all

See
The world says in weak you should never abide
In weak you should never try to hide
Weak- makes you vulnerable
Weak makes you cry
Weak make others uncomfortable
Weak is not profitable

BUT

What if
Weakness was actually your strength?
For who reinforces a bridge that is deemed strong?
Isn't it a stronghold that takes capture of your life all the day long?
The strong doesn't need help to fight

What if
You let you let your weakness show?
Do you think it might give you a chance to grow?
To be held up?
Reinforced?
Rejuvinated?
Refereshed?
Renewed?
Will you be made perfect in your weakness?

No
I'm done with strong
I'll choose weak all the day long

I'm going against what he says, she says, they say
I'll play the fool and choose weak
'Cause strength has served me long,
But
It hasn't really made me...
Strong.

2 Corinthians 12 : 7-10
 7Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! 8Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. 9And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 

The apostle Paul, was serving the Lord, giving his all, willing to risk death, he was all in but he had a problem. A thorn in his flesh. A weak spot. If left unchecked, thorns in sides, like rusty steel pins in bridges, can cause total collapse. But, what to do? Well most of us try to be strong, try to solve that issue, try to cope with losses ourselves, try to try to- cold turkey; only to keep- well- failing in our own strength. Paul sought the Lord about his problem- thrice.

Now, I'm no theologian, but when I read that it was after the third time in prayer about this issue, that Paul got his answer from God. Three like the third day Jesus was risen from the dead signifies completeness- and that was the end of that! The thing is Paul's issue didn't leave him on that third time, but he now understood just how to deal with it. By being weak in the Lord, that is how you fortify a bridge. That is how you are strengthened. That is how you become strong.

10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

The bird watching sanctuary

It was 5 p.m.

I had settled into what had become my newest pastime- bird watching.

There was that one bird, who everyday at around 5, sat on a branch across the way, as I sat in my own comfort zone having dinner. I just by chance glanced up one day, and there it was, oblivious to how thin the branch was that it so comfortably sat.

It came everyday.

It had become a quiet respite from never ending days of the mundane of life. The drop offs, the picks ups, making breakfast, making dinner, parting fights, combing hair- you know- those things you do when you sign up for motherhood.

For at least 10 minutes, I could drown out all the sounds of kids chatter, and I could make the time at 5, for me. Just me. Just me and the bird that perched on a branch in a tree. It sat on the very top, branches bare, and I could allow myself to think my own thoughts.

Wasn't the bird afraid the branch would break? Why does it come there everyday? Is it resting? Is it waiting? Is it just collecting twigs to build a nest?

After weeks, I didn't really care, it had become my 5 p.m. drink of nature, it had become my bird, my sanctuary. it's funny how you share things with others that give you joy, for I shared it with my family, and they started looking for my bird too; but I do suppose it might have meant something entirely different for them.

'His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.'(Mathew 6:25-26) I let that sit with me for a while. I marinated in it. I rejoiced in this news that the bird that sat in the tree on a branch brought me.

Then the bird that sat, came, no more.

It was 5 p.m.

My bird was late.

Then late turned into absent. Then one day turned into a week. I looked from my favourite place to sit for my favourite respite that came from the sky, and it didn't come.

'Watch your actions, 

They become habits'

I missed my bird that sat. It had become my respite. My little habit. My reminder that God watches over me. But it had left me. 

I looked up everyday, still. Just for the bird. Then I noticed something. The branches that were bare, were no longer so. There were leaves on those branches now, the bird had moved on, the tree had grown new leaves, but...I was still stuck- looking up. 

I accepted that my bird was gone, I sank back into the mundane. I ate. I told children to clear the table. I told children to wash the dishes. I sat- in my comfort zone of a chair. 

That moment when everything around you seems to move on, seasons change, birds like people fly away, and you still don't recognize that it's an indication, no... permission for you to move on also.

For everything, there is a season,(Ecclesiastes 3) you can so easily get stuck in a bird's yesterday.

The bird, never formed a relationship with me, it was doing only what it knew how to do everyday. I made it 'my bird', 'my respite'. I sat while it sat, and I took from it what it was never meant to give- me. 

I sat, and it flew away, it took from me what it was never meant to take but I gave it over, willingly. 

'...And I spent my days
Poured my life without measure
Into a little treasure box
I'd thought I'd found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul...'

Alabaster box

CeCe Winans

 We, like sheep, have gone astray, pouring our life without measure, into little treasures that we have found, giving ourselves over to many devices. We empty ourselves into men. Women. Our homes. Our children. Our jobs.  We get lost in dreams, drugs, food, shopping, birds, all to escape the mundane of life. We often times give ourselves away to people that don't even want us, people that mistreat us and abuse us but life is seasonal. 

I hear my friends on social media complain bitterly about their winter wonderlands, but through shivers, winter coats, boats and frozen nose hairs, it's difficult to remember that Spring is coming. That a new season is merely months away.

About that comfort zone chair- In Jamaica we have a saying ' batty never say get up'. The Jamaican word for 'bottom' is 'batty', this saying means, if you are seated comfortably, you most likely won't want to get up. Birds fly- that's what they do- most of them anyway. Trees lose their leaves in the winter, then by spring, they are in full bloom- this is what trees do. Humans on the other hand, well, they can get stuck. Stuck in places that provide respite,and miss their season. Miss their time to move. You have to know when your season has changed.

Respite in a world of chaos is music to the soul, man knows this, that's why he created massage chairs and spas, but that is temporal. Your Heavenly Father knows this too- that's why He sent Jesus, who says in Mathew 11: 28- 30...

" Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest, 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek, and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

It's possible to find rest in 'good things', - nature, birds, saving the planet, exercise and the like. It's  even more possible to find rest in godly things - like church work, evangelism and ministry. It is also entirely possible to get lost in them, to give them more power than they deserve and miss the fact that it is in Him- Jesus- that you should find rest, it is in Him that you should lay your burdens down, it is in Him that you escape from life's mundane tasks.

If you are giving the good and godly things 10 minutes of everyday,I am by no means suggesting that you stop, just don't forget to give him more, don't forget that the Creator is greater than the created- Always.

I look up occasionally on the tree, I see its leaves, I see no bird. Then I gaze at the bluest sky, decorated by the whitest cotton candy clouds, and I smile and whisper - lesson learned.

Words to Alabaster box by CeCe Winans taken from www.azlyrics.com