Sunday, 3 April 2016

Hello fear, there's something I need to tell you

Hello fear.

Just before the Easter break, I started teaching homophones, in our curriculum, it is referred to as word pairs. Fear, was not one of my featured words - it came in threes. I didn't want to complicate matters in an introductory lesson.

Fear, you see, complicates matters.

Fear and I have been having a symbiotic relationship for years, a little fear is good right? It keeps you in check, keeps you out of trouble and it can even help you to make critical decisions (that fight or flight hormone). Over time though, things took a turn for the worst. Fear became a friend I loved to love, and it slowly ate away at my being.

Fear overtakes things and makes light places dark places.

Recently, while I looked at my fearful place through a trembling heart, I realised how much of myself I allowed fear to cover with its dark veil. I hadn't allowed parts of me to live. I hadn't allowed parts of me to be known. I hadn't allowed myself to be me.

Fear, you see, takes small pieces at a time...until...

It is a crippling feeling to face my fear, for in doing so, I had to face a part of me that made me feel shame. I had made a mistake that was costly. I had made a mistake that had ramifications. I had made a mistake that I let define me. My mistake, let fear dwell in my mind and my heart. But, I lived life with a smile that covered fallen away pieces. I lived life with my own private, unspoken fear.

Fear likes to hide things.

When God decides to work on a heart, he's going to disturb some things. He's going to uncover some things. He's going to come in with that light and shine it on that dark place. That place that fear abides. Funny, one would imagine that when his light bursts in and illuminates a dark place, that would be the end of that- no more darkness right?....wrong!
Just like a flashlight in a dark room, he zooms in on an area; you get to see the rubble that's there. You then, have to clean up!

Fear meets fare.

When that light shun on fear, when I saw how many pieces of myself was hidden in the dark places, I wept. I wept because of my mistake. I wept because I had become a prisoner of my past. I wept because I was afraid to clean up. When you have to take piles of garbage out, it's highly likely that people will see. It's even more likely that they will judge you. It's a given, you will condemn yourself. I did. But. I looked at fear, and through the tears, I said 'hello fear'...there's something I need to tell you!
"Meet your word pair...fare." A price has already been paid for me to journey through this life, without you.

2 Timothy 1:7 " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind"

Facing fears ultimately means stepping out in faith. Faith is the kryptonite of fear. Faith; my greatest struggle to date. So, if God is shinning his light on my fears, he is simply asking me to increase my faith. He is asking me to trust him. He is asking me to rest in him. He is loving my unspoken broken to wholeness.

Letting go of fear, means letting go of a familiar safety net. When you do that, you mourn a loss. This too can lead to another kind of vulnerability, that can lead to...fear.

What if I let go of fear and I am judged?
What if my mistake is forgiven by God but not by man?
What if I fail?
What if my faith weins?

Fear not!

Fear delights in secrecy. Fear establishes insecurity. Fear gives legitimacy to self doubt. Fear cripples. Fear steals time and let dreams die. Fear held these words in its dark place.

I put off writing this post for weeks, fear gripped the words and threw it in a pile of rubble. It turns out, that's the very pile God shun his light on. I saw it. I moved towards the pile with knees that wobbled, I took up a word at a time like a shy child in a room full of strangers. My heart pounded through my chest with every word I made into a sentence until I breathed steady breaths of relief. God, never gives you more than you can bear and he only asks you to bare your dark places to heal your brokeness.

" So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.

Hello fear'...there's something I need to tell you...I made a list and you're on it.

Hello Fear" by Kirk Franklyn

Hello Fear 
Before you sit down there's something I need to explain 
Since you're here 
I think I should tell you since we last talked things have changed 
See I'm tired of being broken-hearted 
So I made a list and you're on it 
All my hopes and my dreams You took from me 
I want those back before you leave 

Hello Fear 
I knew I would see you, You have a hard time letting go 
See these tears,Take a good look cuz, soon they wont fall anymore 
God's healing my hurtful places 
That seat that was yours now is taken 
I'm no longer afraid,See I'm better this way 
And one more thing before you leave 

Never again will I love you 
My heart it refuses to be your home 
No longer your prisoner 
Today I remember 
Apart from you is where I belong 

And never again will I trust you 
I'm tired of fighting it's been way too long 
No longer your prisoner 
Today I remember 
Who I was and now it's gone 
They're gone 
Hello Fear 
Da da da da da, da da da da da 

Farewell Goodbye So long [3X]

Hello Grace 
It feels like forever, I thought my chance with you was gone 
See your face, it reminds me of mercy 
And please let me say I was wrong 
Never knew your touch was endless 
How you never run dry of forgiveness 
Didn't know how bad it was, was afraid just because 
Sorry fear, grace took your place 


Farewell Goodbye So long [8X]

Hello Fear 
Before you sit down there's something I need to explain
Taken from


  1. Thank you for sharing! I'm your neighbor at "Living Free". So true how fear "takes a little piece of us at a time". You describe it so well!

    1. Thanks Kris, it's my first time there, I'll make sure to pop over and say hi..fearless it is!

  2. My goodness this post is so powerfully honest. love the words of Kirk song that fit your post so well. Faith and's our choice which one we chose to live. Again, thank you for this post. I am going to print it off and for the ladies in my bible study.

  3. How beautiful is this! I couldn't agree with you more. Fear has it's way cripples us and hinders us. Following Christ will costs us but the reward is far greater than that. That is what is amazing with Him, His grace is enough to beat fear.

    Thank you so much for sharing this over at #bloggerspotlight link and Pin-it Party. I do appreciate it and hope to see you again! Pinned!

    1. Thanks Cristina, I couldn't agree with you any more.

  4. Thank for this blog! I LOVE it.

    1. Thank you Ariella...glad you are being blessed by it