Do it afraid or Fear not?

It's a new year filed with new year's resolutions, vision boards 2019, scripture writing plans, scripture for the year and word for the year 2019 - the people of the world are ready to take on 2019!

If I am to be honest, so am I. I have a word for the year too, I have the vision for 2019 but in the midst of it all, my heart encountered this very popular phrase - "Do it afraid."

I have seen it all over social media people living their 'best life' posing atop a mountainside, going skydiving, starting new businesses with the hastag #doitafraid. There is usually an explanation of how they conquered their fear by ..well..just doing it- afraid.

Let me be honest here - I looked at it and I agreed - A jubilant 'yes' resounded from me. I am going to face my fears and do it afraid too.I was proud of all these persons for conquering their fears but silently contemplated if I ever would.

A new year can bring such confidence

Fear not?

But then this thing happened. My spirit said - 'Do it afraid or fear not?'
I was confused.

The question began to haunt me and I decided that I would allow my mind to mull it over a bit. Could this be a post for my reluctant series of the world vs. the word?

I went investigating what the bible had to say about fear, overwhelmingly it said, "fear not!" Then I happened to look if I saw any articles or posts about 'doing it afraid' - I saw plenty - plenty renowned christian authors posts about 'doing it afraid'. I curled in....ooops.


See - I was in opposition to the thinking of 'doing it afraid' and I was just a girl who mulled over something in her head. I was just a girl who began to think that saying 'doing it afraid' and 'fear not' were not one and the same. I began to feel like this thing laid on my heart was no longer valid. I began to fear that my thoughts would be totally discredited because I didn't agree with the popular sentiments of 'doing it afraid.'

'Doing it afraid'

The thing is that the disparity between doing it afraid and fear not seems so small and the outcomes are often the same. I am afraid to do something -I face my fears- I do it anyways- I achieve my goal. Even if I don't achieve what I originally set out to do - I have still gained because I will know what to do next time to improve my odds. Or at best I conquered my fear and now am better for it. There is no loser there right?

But for me - the tiniest, sliest word in 'doing it afraid' is 'I'. I did it afraid. I felt overwhelmingly, crippling fear and I did something to overcome that fear and came out victorious on the other side. It's hard to see - Like the serpent said to Eve - "You will not surely die"( Genesis 3 vs. 4) and she nor Adam certainly did not drop dead physically, but spiritually they died because of a subtle play on words.

Doing it afraid is acting in my own self and my own strengths to get past something that I fear. Let me use a  practical example - say a person is afraid to fly but they want to experience an awesome vacation in Italy - they might try to do it afraid by :- travelling with a friend, taking a favourite book, listen to tapes about being positive or just simply do it afraid by going on the plane and being a nervous wreck and an annoying passenger. But best believe they will make it to Italy. They did it afraid. Actually, let's be fair, they could have even prayed about it and made it too.

But let's not be fooled the Word of God doesn't call us to do anything afraid, or feel the fear and do it anyways. The word of God calls us to be fearless.

Doing it afraid and being fearless is not the same thing.

Doing it afraid is acting from a point of self. 

Fear not calls for one to be fearless in all situations because God is with you in every situation.


The bible has many accounts where it speaks of not being afraid - not because God thinks that as humans we will be brave in all situations ; he expects that we will be afraid or he wouldn't have said - Fear not. What He doesn't call for us to do is 'do it afraid.' He expects us to check that fear right at the door by calling on Him, that in our weakness of fear, we will gain bravery and strength to face the things that cause us to be afraid in the first place.

Moving towards something afraid is not trusting in God's ability to remove all doubt and fear from our hearts and minds so that we can act in the spirit of power  and a sound mind.

It is entirely different to say - I am going on this awesome vacation in Italy because I know that the God I serve will protect me and remove all fear from my heart and mind rooted in whatever construct I might be operating in. Whether it is fear of terrorism, fear that the world is unsafe, or maybe someone I knew died in a plane crash or just general distrust of mechanics of a plane.

Perfect love casts out ALL fear.

If perfect love casts out fear how is it then that I am going to subscribe to doing something afraid? Isn't it reasonable to assume that even while I am doing the action I am still afraid? So what then was cast out? ( because fear has torment- 1 John 4 vs. 18) Is it to say that a fear can't be instantly cast out by God if I seek Him fervently to do so? Is anything too hard for God or are we ascribing our thinking to how God can operate?

Because he first loved us - perfectly- He doesn't ever want us to be tormented by any type of fear.
Fear of loving others, self; fear of flying, fear of dying, fear of spiders, clowns, towns or cities - no fear at all.


In the story of David and Goliath found in 1st Samuel, the army of Saul were greatly afraid of Goliath and his army. David, a shepherd boy came on the battlefield and was ready to fight, unafraid - his words - "the Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine"(1 Samuel vs 35).  Verses 45 and 46 are also instructive and proves that David wasn't operating out of fear or doing anything afraid - he had a certain confidence as he said "This day the Lord will deliver thee into mine hand;..."

The Bible accounts also of Moses who was asked in Genesis 12 by the Lord to 'get thee out of thy country, and from they kindred, and from they father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee." Genesis 12 vs. 1. The story accounts that he left not knowing even where he was going actually and proponents of the 'do it afraid' thinking says when Abram left, he must have left being afraid but trusted in the Lord so much so that he left but the bible doesn't give an account of his fear - it only speaks to his certain trust and belief in his God. Where I believe that he 'did it afraid' is when he did not trust God enough to protect him when he went into Egypt and told his wife Sarai to lie and say she was his sister to save himself from being killed by the Egyptians - that he did afraid because he didn't ask God to remove the ungodly sense of fear and save him alive.- but I could be wrong.

The story of Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego also shows that trust in God casts out all fear and causes one to act in strength and bravery. The Hebrew boys were not afraid of the firey furnace - their resolve was Our God will save us and if not we will still not bow to your gods. ( Daniel 3 vs. 17- 18).
They did not do it afraid - they feared not- they were resolute.


Doing it afraid is man's way - Fear not is God's way.


I am not afraid to do it because God is with me and he will carry me through is different from saying I will approach whatever I fear afraid.

It is so subtle, so very subtle but most of the lies of the enemy are.

Consider the following:

• Jesus did not do it afraid did He? Was He afraid to heal on the sabbath day but did it afraid anyways?
• Was he afraid to speak to scholars at the age of 12 but did it anyway?
• Was Jesus afraid to be challenged by religious Scholars but answered them afraid anyways?
• Was he afraid when tempted by the same devil that tempts us? Did he rebuke Him afraid?
• Was He afraid when they took him captive to crucify Him but did it afraid anyways?
• Was Jesus afraid to die on the cross but did that afraid?

Feel the fear and do it anyways? - was that Jesus' example?

Feel the fear - and do this

Psalm 34 vs. 4  I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

You might also like to read the first in the series - When hoarding becomes a thing

What fears are you facing today? Will you do it afraid or do it fearless as God intends? Let me know.

Tanya❤️

When Jesus replies with a BIG FAT NO!

On Saturday my phone got shattered.

Just four days later, my hopes suffered the same fate.

I was listening to a preacher on Periscope on Saturday, he was giving a simple, yet powerful message – Psalm 50:23 “Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God.” It struck a chord. I had been letting my doubts speak for years. The next few days, I had fewer conversations! The ones I had were just with me and my God. I had begun to understand that I needed to speak life over myself.

If you asked me to explain how the phone fell face down on the cold hard concrete, I’m not sure I could, but as I caught my breath and hoped for the best, disappointment came. Remarkably, all functionality of the phone was intact, the Periscope replay still played, the volume was still soul reaching, but it was shattered nonetheless. I was running my life from that device, this blog, schoolwork, research, my bible notes, pictures, just about everything was on it and I had to decide, should I pronounce it dead or try to make it ‘worthy’ again? I chose the latter. Hopefully, it can be repaired as good as new.

There is this song like – ‘When Jesus says Yes, nobody can say No,’ (and isn’t that the truth) but when you land on the other side of Yes, that flipside, that BIG FAT NO  side – there is another song you sing.

I had fasted. I prayed. I repeated bible promises. I planted a seed. I had spoken life over my days. I had been asking Jesus for something my heart desired, something I had hoped for. Jesus grants the desires of your heart. That same Jesus, after my sacrifice, said…NO! A BIG FAT NO!

On Wednesday, hope, well- it just died – fullstop.

I now, became my phone – shattered but working; fully functional with a broken screen. If you asked me to explain why my hopes fell on the cold hard concrete of life, I’m not sure I could, but as I stepped out in faith and outside of fear, disappointment came with that BIG FAT NO!

Out of all the people in the Bible, I have never heard anybody wanting to be Job – ever! No one names their kid Job, no one longs to lose their loved ones, no one wants to have their friends say the dumbest things at the most painful time of their life and no one wants to lose all they have ever had. If there was ever a happy ending in the Bible, it was Job, but the process! The process was brutal!

The thing about Job though, that we all, I’m sure, find remarkable, was that faith; Satan questioned it, but God, he believed in it. God believed in Job’s faith so much that he removed that covering from him and let that Satan run Job through a sieve. He shattered his business, wealth and family in one go! Talk about overkill!

Curse God and die!

Job couldn’t see the future, he wasn’t a prophet, he didn’t dream dreams, he, just a man, who loved God. On that day when his hopes were shattered, Job could not envision the turn- around that lay up in God’s hand for him – all he could see was desolation.  YET – all he held onto was his God!

His fate didn’t determine his faith – neither must yours or mine

I would take a guess and say that Job probably prayed that day when he lost everything; I’m sure he made all the relevant first fruit and burnt offerings unto his God, but that didn’t spare him from being shattered.

God, must teach lessons in faith, he tailors his plans according to his students. Differentiated learning they call it in education circles, I have to do it too, it takes into account your students’ abilities and learning styles – I must teach the way all my students learn. It isn’t a one size fits all experience anymore. This NO, was my differentiated instruction.

I had whispered in my prayer time that I wanted an increase in faith, I had said it out loud too; the word became flesh; God agreed, then replied with that BIG FAT NO! – Now your move my child.

Curse God and Die!

Job 2:10   But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job, did not lose his integrity, and neither will I. Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

I had whispered for increased faith. God had answered, “I will grant your request for increased faith, by saying NO, now. I will say NO now, and see if you will still TRUST me, see if you will still LOVE me, see if you will still believe that I WILL do exceedingly abundantly above ALL that you ask or think.” God whispered a BIG FAT NO  and I shed a tear or two, but my faith did not waiver, and I surprised myself when I whispered … “Well, I guess you have something better in store for me; guess I will wait.” 

So, that No song you sing, that we have sent for Jesus but he hasn't come song, I’ll sing it knowing “he’s four days late, but still on time.” 

Martha thought all hope was lost, the family was shattered but God was going to show up and Lazarus was going to come forth. I was disappointed, but I didn't die!

Do you think God loves us any less than he did Lazarus?

1Corinthians 2:9   But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

I'm there for it!

 Related post : Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

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When did God ask for your help exactly?

As I sat in air conditioned comfort, huddled between a stranger and a friend listening to a Korean pastor sharing God's word in a most animated tone, I couldn't help but smile in my heart at a God that sends messages in the wind that need no translation. The very last day of this seminar that I was invited to a week prior, was about faith - the very thing I was struggling with, just this week.

The message - just have faith - wait on God - don't try to help him accomplish his promises to you - he doesn't need your help!

After this message that I almost missed due to a full day of Christmas activities, there was a one on one 'ministering session'....being a strange face...I was bait. Not only was I bait - I was perplexed bait.
A sprightly chap tried his best to explain....needless to say - I didn't get it.

Do nothing while I wait? What do you mean do nothing? I have to do something...afterall - do I just sit around twiddling my thumbs and just wait?....NO - that wasn't flying with me. There must be something I can do....

The message referenced Abraham, Moses and David....

Abraham did something while he waited on God to fulfill his promise to him. He had Ishmael.  We all know how that turned out!

But still...what do I do in the meantime...in between time?

Nothing! Just wait. Just depend on God's unwavering hand to do his work- his way - instead of  him having to accomplish his will plus fix your mess; you know- the mess you made trying to 'help' him.

Genesis 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. 

For there is nothing impossible for the Lord but there are many things that are not possible for you. And if you believe you had a hand in achieving God's plan for you; you might be tempted to glorify self!

But just do nothing?! 

So if the Lord promised you a husband, wouldn't it be logical that you would start to go out more? Visit some more parks? Attend more social events? Visit a few more churches? Become more social? Sign up for an online dating site perhaps? Afterall...you have to meet the person somewhere right?

So..you mean to say that a God that created the universe needs your help in providing a meeting spot for a husband he picked out for you since before the beginning of time? Really? Do you believe if you never leave your house again that God wouldn't still have you meet this person?

In the natural, the answer would be:  'to meet someone, you need to 'meet' them, so I would have to Do Something in order to 'help' God.

But, again the question is  "Is there anything impossible for God?"

Well, how about helping God to save people? How about starting a blog to get God's word out to the nations? Putting his words and work out there, showcasing our lives and experiences to build God's kingdom? Following truly the 'Great Commission" (Mathew 28:19)

Truth be told, most of everything I write ends up speaking to me and what God is trying to accomplish in me! If it's helping anybody else, it is not because of my writing style or bible knowledge - the two- need plenty of work - it is simply because of this - God's word cannot return void, but accomplish what it will. His will is being done. I am merely an instrument. If it were for me alone..I'd be fast asleep in bed!

Does God need our help? Probably not!


 But, I had an issue with what the pastor was saying!

My reasoning - God uses people, people come into your lives, they change the course of it; many help you find God, some help you rekindle your relationship with God, others through their hurt, betrayal and disappointment help you to lean on God - all done through- well - People. So you look through a lens that views - people- as the vehicle in which you 'found' God.

But

.........it was all God...all the time...working through people! They were not helping God. God was helping them. Helping them to reconcile his people unto himself.

The fact that God works through man to accomplish his will does not mean he needs our help to do anything! I have to let this marinate a little. I need time with this one.


Humans, are busy little bees, buzzing around, pollinating brightly coloured open flowers, who are blowing in the wind, waiting to be impregnated with the Word. Trouble is- all these busy little bees are buzzing around with their own words, their own ideas, and their own thoughts on how they can 'help' God accomplish his will. Many have good intentions. The road to hell is paved with many a good intention.

Bees, are responsible for one-third of the world's food supply! Imagine that! Now imagine us being busy bees pollinating one-third of the world with our own version of what God wants us to do to help Him! Scary thought!


So, do nothing to help God probably doesn't mean to sit around and twiddle your thumbs afterall. Maybe it means do nothing of yourself.
Do nothing from your own imaginings.
Do nothing from the standpoint of vain deceits, because God's ways are not your ways; so in helping him it is perfectly plausible that you will create major problems for yourself and others.


So, instead, wait on the promise. Have faith in the unseen. Read, study, pray and be guided, even if the rain you are waiting for takes 120 years. Building the Ark doesn't mean you are helping God, it means you are being obedient to what God has told you to do for Him to accomplish His will.

Well....it's what I think anyways. Maybe you disagree...

Related post: Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

Readings: Isaiah 55

When delay feels like denial and you are just about ready to give up

When delay feels like denial and I am just about ready to give up, I Yell.
I yell at the driver in front of me that's moving as slow as my dreams,
I yell at my children and watch their eyes die.
I yell at the chicken for burning in the pot, but mostly, I really just want to YELL at God.

I want to say :

Hey God, I am really sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm really tired of this almost state of being. I almost there- but almost doesn't count! It doesn't! What good is an almost perfect job? What good is an almost perfect husband I have never met ? What good is an almost breakthrough? Tell me!!

Almost. It doesn't count and I'm just done.

Mr. Jesus- I'm almost done with you. But. Almost doesn't count.

You're four days late- Lord I don't understand why you waited so long! If you are like me, and you find yourself in a jam and you are looking to an all knowing God to solve it- four days is just that- 4 days. I am counting 1 - 2 - 3 - 4! Four days- I waited, your move - now show up- just show up already!

I'm living in earth's time. Not heaven's time. And for me - time is almost over.
If it's a season- well that's 3 months- why do I have to live a season that lasting for years though?

I'm not Joseph, I'm not Job, I'm not Father Abraham, I'm just me. Tanya.
An ordinary girl, in an ordinary world wondering where is my super-natural breakthrough. Why isn't God fighting for me? Why isn't he making a way for me? Why, if he grants the desires of your heart- he doesn't just do it already?

I almost feel abandoned - but - almost doesn't count.

I do suppose that Joseph must have felt just like me when he sat in that prison cell waiting for his God to show up and show out. I do suppose he had days like this. Days when he felt denied. I wonder if he at any time almost gave up on God? I wonder what he said to himself in those days when the wind left and the air was hot with disappointment.


Those almost state days are the days where the wind is totally sucked out of the atmosphere, and all you feel is an angry heat. You become hard with yourself. You become hard with others. Those days are filled with regret and next day apologies.

On these days though - Mr. Jesus doles out extra grace. You have to allow yourself to feel it. You have to let the wind back in. Grace always wins.


What do you do when delay feels like denial and you almost want to give up on God?

Remember that almost - well - it doesn't count.

Those days, when your feet hit the cold hard tiles of life, you stand, on solid ground- put one foot in front of the other and inhale. Feel that breath? It's the breath of life and you've still got it. There is no almost about that! Which means you better make it count!


On these days pray, praise, plan. In that order. 

On those days when delay masquerades itself as denial, remember those 2 days that the wind was sucked out of the atmosphere and the heat scarred the whole earth. Remember that day 3 didn't almost come - it came with a wind that lifts you up in perfect peace. Remember the price paid to redeem your dreams - your hopes - your fears- your tears.


On those days:

Be patient with yourself.

Be patient with others.

Be patient with God.

When you cant see his plan, when you don't understand- TRUST HIS HEART

Scripture readings; Genesis 37- 41(Joseph's Story), Isaiah 26:3


Be sure to read this related post on Waiting: Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

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