Love abuse

Day 5
Love abuse

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will not perish but have everlasting life."

Recently, I read a blog post on yoursewtrendy.com, my fellow blogger Jaime hosts Sitting Among Friends blog party every Wednesday. I'm always there.(I can't make a live link because I'm using my phone, but I urge you to check it out). She wrote a post about love and examples of love in the Bible and how we can follow those examples when we love. It struck a cord and one song kept playing in my mind. 'God favoured me'. One line from it in particular.. ' love, I've had my share of Love Abuse..manipulated and its strength misused..'

Yes, I thought, love abuse. I've had a lot of that. We've had a lot of that and on today, Valentines Day, many are celebrating just that. Love abuse. When you have had that pure genuine child-like love we all originally had manipulated and misused, we begin to have doubts. We first doubt ourselves. We doubt others. We doubt love. We wrap that soft love with hard shells. We build walls instead of bridges. We start to mistrust love. We tell love it doesn't exist.

If there comes a time when genuine love appears, we find it hard to recognise it. We tell it it's a liar. We accuse it. We leave it for that special friend....love abuse. We become trapped in a cycle of hurt and abuse..with little love to show for it.

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is felt most when it's genuine
And I know he favoured me because my enemies did try, but didn't triump over me.

Now that hard has covered soft, and we only recognise and respond to love abuse; in comes God with that love on a cross. In comes God that's says ' I love you my child'. I love you with all my being. I love you with all your faults and flaws. I love your hard places. I love your soft places. Will you love me back? The dilemma now is, you don't know what to do with this type of love. You no longer trust yourself to choose love. You only now know, love abuse.

Houston.. We have a problem!

Many times, its not that we don't want to love God, it's that we don't know what real love looks like anymore. We can't let anyone into our hard places for fear that they will injure our soft places. We can't trust the people we see, touch and feel, how must we accept, receive the love of Jesus?

Truth is, there is no easy answer to that question. The answer that I know, is just to try him. Just to try him fully and you would be surprised how much he will heal your unspoken broken and make you whole again. The next thing you have to do is Trust him. That's the hard part. The trust part. You don't even trust your own judgement. But you must let go and let God..* welp*. It must be done. It can be done; slowly. Strip back the layers and receive a lover who is willing to be with you even unto death. One who doesn't just pay lip service but one who actually has the holes in his hands to prove it.

I'm not big on Valentines Day, something about being single has something to do with it. What I am big on is learning to recognise the love of Jesus as something wonderful.

And I know he favoured me because my enemies did try but couldn't triump over me.

"Jesus wept."

How do you love?

Day 4

Jesus loves us

I typed the perfect little post, it got deleted.... Queue my * wonk wonk* soundtrack somebody. Day 4 has its challenges, life is full of them but we must soldier on. Luke 22:32 says " But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren." The Lord prays for us! Isn't that incredibly awesome?

Jesus prays that our faith in him not wane, even when Satan seeks to sift us like wheat. He is watching, he is present. He is praying.
Luke 22:32, says importantly..' When' ...when you have returned to me, not ' if'. Not if but when. Jesus knows that sometimes, life may rock us, sift us and beats us to the ground; he knows too, that sometimes we may just deny ever knowing him because of it. But he's a praying father, and there isn't anything more powerful than a praying parent.

Why do we pray for our children? In a word...love.

Malachi 1:2 " I have loved you, saith the Lord. Yet Ye say, Wherein hath thou loved us...? God has demonstrated his unfailing love towards his children in so many ways long before he was nailed betwixt two thieves. His love for us his only crime. Our crime? Denying him. Denying his love.

How do we love?

I listened to a video recently about the book the Giving Tree. I read the book a long time ago, a boy, who a tree loved first, would go playing under the tree. The tree, because of its love gave unselfishly anything the boy asked. The tree willingly gave his fruits,  its shade and as the boy grew he asked for more, eventually taking the lumber leaving the tree with just its stump. Years later, the boy, now a man came back but there wasn't anything else for him to receive. The tree offered its stump. The man sat.

I always felt bad for the tree, it didn't know to say ' no'. It gave everything it had, for love, our God gave his very life, because, like the Giving Tree, he loved us first. Unlike the tree, God tempers our desires for our own good. We will not always get everything we ask for even though Jesus will always have what to give.

Many times we behave just like the boy in the story, we selfishly ask for things not thinking how it affects others. We treat Jesus as if he is our giving tree, and when we get what we desire, we forget him; only to come back when we are in need again.

How do we love?

I have no problem loving everybody, it's just my neighbour I can't love!.... I laughed, yes, we live just like that. People are hard to love, up close. We have to try to follow  Jesus' example of love. Love, yet say no. Love, and say yes. Love and say wait. Love and let go. Love and let God. Love and be patient. Love and be kind. Love and be wise. Love and be sacrificial. Love and give. Love, even if you love first, love even if you are hated. Love even when persecuted. Love and forgive. Love and love.

How did Jesus love?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life.

Mary, baby Jesus and the song that the world rarely sings at Christmas

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

I first heard this song a few years ago when my classmates and I had to put on a production for a drama course we were doing. We decided to do a modern twist on the story of Jesus's birth. We zoomed in on Mary, more so than Jesus being a Saviour. The song, Mary did you know was played towards the end of the production when Mary and Joseph went looking for Jesus when he stayed back at the temple doing his father's business. We got a B. We were quite thrilled, it was so much work and we were glad it was over.

Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

The song came to me today because for the second time in two days  I've been called a scrooge! Not because I don't get the meaning and significance of why as Christians we celebrate Christmas, but because for me Christmas means work! Too much work and if grades are being handed out for Christmas cheer this year - I'll take a C! If you know me, you will know, if I got a C....well I'd cry!

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

In Jamaica, Christmas is steeped in traditions. Enough, that I will make a list.

• There is major home renovations which includes but not limited to: painting your walls, grills, verandah, bedroom, remodelling your kitchen, bathroom.....
• You shop for gifts, toys and the Christmas tree but only at the very last minute
• You bake- black cake with fruits that have been soaking from the previous year
• You cook up a storm complete with ham, different meats, and sides
• You make sorrel
• You invite family over
• You go to kids school events
• You attend church services

I'm sure I left some things out but that list is all that I have to look forward to in the Christmas season. I usually do all of the above, well except the painting bit. This normally leaves me totally exhausted just thinking about all I have to do and literally exhausted when I get through doing them.

This year - I'm just plain ole tired, and I haven't even started any of the list! And I don't even feel like I will! There is no tree, no decorations, no presents bought, no fruits soaking in wine and the ham is still sitting frozen in the freezer. It's going to be a long Christmas Eve!

For as traditions go - I know I will force myself to complete them all by Thursday! In Jamaica - Christmas dinner, Christmas Day is our Thanksgiving. The show must go on!

And everybody says - do it for the children at least! Afterall, Christmas is for the children! They get the presents, the good cheer and tidings, they get the love and extra pocket money! Do it for them!

And then guilt seeps in and I am reminded of the song - Mary did you know?

 It makes me thoughtful. I think about the messages I am passing on by being the scrooge, of not providing the best Christmas memories, I know too that every mundane day, is a still a day that makes a lifetime.

Mary did you know.. Mary did you know

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

 But, I also think on the flip side, what I am also teaching about doing things merely out of tradition, and am I really doing what is important and right. The season afterall isn't about cake, sorrel, ham and presents - isn't it about the birth of our Saviour?

As a Christian family, I know my children know this, they hear it every year at church but do the traditions compliment or contradict that teaching. I said to my friend this week - I'm not buying any gifts this year- I'm giving every body Frankincense! She laughed out loud! Truth be told, I didn't even know what it is or how I would find it but if it's good enough for Jesus...it surely good enough for my bunch!..hahaha!

I have become weary of the traditions of men! Jaded even...Christmas celebrations is creeping up the list!

But that pesky song! Who am I raising? What is my responsibility to them at this time of the year? What do I teach them in my actions and not necessarily my words? Do I carry out traditions and a culture to make them happy for that 'one day' we celebrate as Jesus's birth or do I just stress the fact that Emmanuel is with us?

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Truth be told - I'll probably do both!
Christmas, is a happy time, a time when people see strangers. A time when people actually talk instead of text, a time when family visits from near and far, a time when we eat way too much cake and a time when we open laughter, smiles and happiness wrapped up in a cute red bow, all because Emmanuel is with us!

And what of the next few days - when the nostalgia starts to fade- what do you teach then? What do you do when the traditions of men take a hiatus until Easter when you are supposed to be sad for Jesus's death? It seems like it is a roller- coaster ride that has out- lasted its purpose.

Emmanuel you see, never really left us, he has been that ever present God from creation to flesh to Holy spirit our comforter this whole time. I prefer to celebrate that all year round. And did Mary know? I'm not sure she did in entirety; just like me, as I stare at my children, I do not fully know if one day, they will walk on water, or deliver me!

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

I just know...that like Mary, I was chosen to carry them. I was chosen to have them fulfill the purpose of God in their lives. I was chosen to guide them in the way of God and not the traditions of men.
So even if there is no tree, there is still love.

And the greatest of these is love. Isn't that what Christmas is all about anyways?

Related Reading: John 3:16

Song words taken from : metrolyrics.com

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For the love of God! Can we just love?

It's Friday, the weekend. The day to unwind, relax, wash off the stresses of your week with a long shower and raise your glasses and cheer in the weekend. It goes by so quickly.

And today, was just for friends - just me, having long conversations with friends. I am happy for being blessed with good friends. It is God's way of taking care of me. For we all need a Lazarus. A friend we love that if we lose them, we would just..well...weep. Jesus wept. Jesus understood the value of a good friend. It's what makes him a friend to many.

It was a day just to abandon my plans, and just listen, laugh and love. The greatest of these is love...! Some that are old enough might just burst out in song - 'what the world needs now is love sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of '.

The world seems to be at a turning point, a tipping point even, it's the 2nd Friday in a row that there was some kind of hostage crisis, and people lost their lives for no apparent reason; and we all have to wonder...what's the matter with the world?

Are our ideals so far apart that we seize to just..love?

Are our views so different that we seize to...love?

Are our clothes so different that we seize to....love?

Are past mistakes of one time oppressors so great that hate has overthrown ....love?

And we die on cold hard concrete with blood, red blood, making a halo around our heads....

God forbid!

Life as we know it is changing, and the world is becoming a scarier place but I feel calm, for I know to Look Up and not out into the abyss that has become this world. 

So, on a Friday night, I had long conversations, with friends and we spoke about just life....just life, for it is what we have and what we must use to spread the gospel of love that is Christ Jesus. For such a time as this!

1 John 4 :4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is within the world. 5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6 We are of God: he that knoweth God, heareth us; he that is not of God, heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. 

7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 



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Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name....

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came..

Yes, we all know the words to that song, CHEERS. A group of people,  who work together, and some who stop by and share their life's problems over a tall glass of beer, before they die. A great comedy, a novel idea.

Sometimes people just want to know someone knows their name. Sometimes people just want to know you are glad to know they are around. December is coming. It's a hard time for many who feel like no one cares. It's often a time when many see the bottom of a bottle.

There is someone who knows your name. There is someone who is always glad you came. And no, it's not the bartender.

Jer. 1:15 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Even the very hairs on her head are numbered (Luke 12:7). I don't know about you but no one could pay me enough to try and count the number of hairs in their scalp!

My mom was telling me that everywhere she goes, people are always telling her their problems, always, and she just doesn't know why, and recently as an acquaintance started emptying her burdens on me, I realized - everyone needs that place- that place where God's grace abounds. Tag- you're it!

We are the salt of the earth, we are God's stand in a rough and tumble world, and sometimes people pick perfect strangers, sometimes they pick people they barely know to tell their troubles, for we dare not trust our own. What is our response?

Are we following the instruction to 'Walk in wisdom towards them that are without, redeeming the time?'  Is our speech always with grace , seasoned with salt? (Colossians 4:5-6).

As I sat and listened to the pouring of this, my acquaintance, not everything I said was seasoned with salt, until, I realized, this person was seeking that ever flowing grace. And then I was able to say..He sees, He knows, He understands.

All anybody wants to do is to feel like they belong, the trouble is they join membership clubs, not realizing they are part of the biggest family. The family of God. A family where even if they don't know your name, you are no less important. You have the right birthright. You have the right family name.

Once I asked a question on Facebook, When you say too persons, How are you? do you really want to hear their response? The answers I got surprised even me, because it was then I realized what I myself used to do. I didn't ask persons how they were, I was asking " (are) you good?". You might think it's an open ended question, but it's really not. Most people will just say yes and keep it moving, because I had already inserted what I expected them to respond; giving a signal that I was only concerned with what was 'good'.

But what if we really asked sincerely, "How are you?" not like it's small talk but like we want to talk? We want to really know how someone is coping? How is someone really feeling in this harsh world? Are we prepared to sit, listen, season our responses with salt and show the grace of God?

What if we wear a face that is inviting, so even perfect strangers will see God in us and we will have an opportunity to share God's love and pick ripe fruits? The harvest is plenty, the labourers are few.

The bartender listens, he or she has learnt the art of listening while pouring spirits, two powerful antidotes to all the poisons that beset our lives, the thing is, as soothing as that can be, it soon will become toxic.

The people of God have to be ready to listen to perfect strangers on the bus, in the supermarket, at the doctors office, in our back yards. Trust that the problems they share, the things they talk about, you are the perfect person, chosen by God to help them, I no longer believe in coincidence. We have to be ready for our schedules to be interrupted, and our plans to go awry, for God's perfect plans for the lives of others to happen through chance encounters with us - God's little helpers.

The spirit is waiting to be poured into vessels empty and upturned to God, where you will never see the bottom of a bottle ever again and the most important One will call your name, and angels rejoice, just because you came. (Luke 15:10).

Acts 2:17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:

Will you challenge yourself to listen to the stranger on the bus in order to show God's grace?

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Related Readings: Psalm 91:14

What your shadow teaches you about God's perfect light

I don't like people in my personal space, its a pet peeve.

I claim an arms length - 360°. Stand outside that circle - please; unless I invite you in. 

That's rare.

I smile a lot, a lot- that's not an invitation. I laugh even more- again, not an 

invitation. I'm sociable, approachable, an extroverted introvert - not 

invitations to come into my circle.

I guard my 360°.

I'm not big on hugging.

My family knows, my friends know. My kids, well, they know but they don't really care about my 360° of separation. They get to come in. They are the exception to my stupidity. 
 

Before I even had kids, I started going to a church that hugged. A lot. Hugs were new every Sunday morning. I groaned in anticipation and did the Christian boy dates Christian girl kinna hug...what's that you ask? Well, its that hug where you're so far apart that a train could pass through. You pat each other on the back and smile- toothless. 

Yes, that's how I greeted somebody in Jesus' name. It went on for years, I improved a tad, sometimes, the space could only accommodate a bicycle and the pats on the back became rubs- I tried- it was the best I could do.

I'm not a fan of happy morning people. I roll my eyes at their gleefulness.

I wasn't a big fan of hugging in relationships either, and public displays of affection? Nope, not me. I am that girl that yells-' Get a room!' And those priceless Kodak moments you see at the airports? Where people hug and spin in the air after being apart for a New York minute? Arrmmm...no!

It's not like I don't love or I'm not happy to see a person after a few days or weeks....it's...well...my happiness... is... Internal - yes- my happiness in an introvert.

And ain't nothing wrong with that!

Or is there?

Can you love with 360° of separation?

Psalm 91:1 - He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I was standing on the beach this summer, the sun tanning an X in my back, and I looked down and I was standing on my shadow. I hadn't seen my shadow in a bit, it's been following me around for ages but I just totally forgot about it. Adults lose the novelty and excitement of having a shadow.

But as shadows go, mine brought me to Psalm 91. How very close one has to be to another to be under their shadow!

I realized that I would be invading the Almighty's personal space to be under his shadow and my 360° of separation brought me to introspection. And a little bit of shame.

My mind took me investigating here,(the teacher in me) and I discovered to make a shadow you need just three things. 

1. Light 

2. An object 

3. A surface 

 Pretty simple stuff right?

The science of it is simply this, a shadow is made when an object blocks light- a dark object, the shadow will fall on the side farthest away from the light. If the light is before us the shadow falls behind us, if the light is behind of us, then the shadow falls in front ...you get the picture right? 

Light - the Son - Jesus is the light of the world.(John 8:12)

An object- translucent and opaque - like us...dark...blocks the light.

A surface - earth - let's cast our shadow on that.

A shadow is that bridge. 

There is a 360° coverage of shadow wherever there is light. God's got you covered.Interestingly, the science also reveals that the closer you go towards the light source the bigger the shadow gets,the reverse also true- this speaks volumes. That shadow that Jesus invites you to abide under, envelopes you the closer you are but even IF you aren't as close as you should be, you are still protected. Hope for the non-believer and back-sliders. God says abide under the shadow. Close. Breath to breath. Sharing a secret place. A vulnerable place. Up close and in a personal space.

Jesus knew all about the secret place of the most high, when he was on earth, whenever he was about to start something major, he always separated Himself, prayed and fasted. That's how you abide under the shadow- that's how you claim the protection. He knew. 

Psalm 91 is powerful, filled with promises. I used to read it and think, this could never apply to me, after all, who am I to be applying the same words the devil used to tempt Jesus? 
 

11-12'He will give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways, they shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thee dash thy foot against a stone.' 


Surely, this was written to fulfill Jesus' temptation by the devil only and could never apply to me! Am I to believe that if I abide in the secret place of the most high, under his shadow that he'll give his angels charge over.....me?!

I'll let that marinate overnight, so it can soak to the bones and plump up the flesh.

This is not an invitation for people to invade personal spaces now, its an invitation to examine why we feel like we need barriers between ourselves and God's people.

It's an invitation to examine why we can't love, hug, and give people the protection of an embrace, but demand it of God. Yes, He says nothing can separate us from His love but he also asks us this- how can you love God whom you hath not seen but hate your brother that you do see? We have to get our own humanity in touch and outside of separation.

If you can't be a part of my shadow, do I deserve the shadow of the Almighty?

Recently I heard a preacher say a smile is her overjoyed, over the moon response...its her 'yaay', its the best she can do after a lifetime of abuse. And I got that, I totally understood. I haven't had a lifetime of abuse but many life lessons through disappointments. It's why I have my 360, it was to protect, but overtime, like many man-made solutions- it had the opposite effect. Instead of protecting, it became a barrier. A self made prison of personal space. 


It's a long road back and a lot of cracks for a potter to repair but I think the potter I've got is up to the task, he comes highly recommended... So I'm about ready to relinquish control,

Control of the 360..

But it's not an invitation... Haha...it's more of a soft launch...give me some time and maybe a hug. Soon.

Do you have pet peeves that separates you from God's people?

Scriptures to ponder: Psalm 91, John 8.




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