Jesus loves you, regardless of the state you are in

I had another chance encounter with a homeless man, this time, I had choices; I chose to park by him and his dog. I didn't pray for the car this time - I just went ahead and bought him lunch.

God works on our hearts in mysterious little ways.

As I stood with the bag in my hand, a lady was to my left, a man in his car to my right; unwanted spectators in my moment of insecurity. I waited, I hesitated. I let my mind wander into those of my spectators. Their voices sounded very much like my own.

'Why would you give him food?'
' He's probably a drug addict!'
' It's his own fault why he's here in this state'
' You are being an enabler.'

In a moment, a voice cried out softly and said, ' it doesn't matter why he's here, your job is not to judge him but to help him.' ' You were once found wanting too, but I still loved you.'

With that, I handed over the bag with just a ' Sir, sir...here.' He barely looked me in the face, but he did say thank you. He didn't look in the bag, he put it beside him. He went back into his world. I didn't get the gratification I think I wanted for my good deed.

God, has ways, of working on your heart.

In that split second before I handed over my obedience to this man, I thought of what I should say. I ended up saying..Sir...Sir...here; I pondered saying Jesus loves you. I didn't.

Why?....because I saw a man blackened with dirt, filled with metal rings on his fingers, hanging unto a dog on a leash and thought...in a split second...hearing the words 'Jesus loves you' wouldn't mean a thing!

In a split second, I thought, that the good news that Jesus loves us, would mean nothing to a person in their lowest state. In a split second, I thought hearing about the love of God would have no bearing on a man who no one saw, who people avoided, who the world 'justifiably'ignored. How would hearing that Jesus loved him make a difference to him?

Jesus, he works on hearts, in mysterious ways.

I drove away, again, having this time delivered food but not the bread of life. I felt like I failed again. How could a self proclaimed Christian not think that the good news is worth sharing to anyone at anytime under any circumstances?

I thought about my choice for a while, it rested on me like a cross too heavy to bear alone. It dawned on me that my choice is what  so many make on a daily basis. How we complicate the simplicity of Jesus' love! How we over think what Jesus can do and inflate what we do. Jesus never asked us to save anyone. He just asked us to be messengers.
We need only to be on one accord with what Jesus came to do...save us..love us.....first.

I made up in my mind, in only a split second, that hearing that 'Jesus loves you'  would have zero bearing on a man that was living on the streets, how could he? If Jesus loved him, wouldn't he be with family and friends? Would Jesus love him homeless?....I knew he would think these things if I told him these three words...I withheld. I over reached, over stepped, over thought, and made the love of God small enough to fit into ' my own understanding.'

Jesus, changes hearts. He's changing mine with not so chance encounters.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, his wonders to behold, I don't know what he's up to, but I know he's up to something. I trust his heart. I trust my heart in his hands.

That simple sentence, 'Jesus loves you ' it carries weight, heavy enough to stand on its own yet simple enough that it needs no further explanation. It just is.

And isn't the love of Jesus something wonderful? That love that boldly bore my sins and yours. That love that stood unashamed betwixt two thieves. That love that has the holes in hands to prove to all the doubters that it is real. That love that reaches us from our earthly graves. That loves that does not care about our station in life. That love that rescues the perishing and cares for the dying. That love that's says..I loved you first. That love that calls us friend. That love that calls us heirs. That love that invites us All in. That's the love that we must share.

Share it often. Share it everywhere.

Fasting, does it move God?

Fasting. That Christian discipline. Fasting. That Christian discipline that Jesus said would remove certain kinds of demons. Fasting. That Christian discipline that Jesus said would remove certain kinds of demons often never goes as we plan.

On my very first serious Christian fast, I had high hopes. I expected a divine visitation. I expected Jesus himself to visit me in those quiet prayerful moments. I was waiting on the bright lights, the tears to flow and a life forever changed. I would become, after that encounter a Christian missionary or something equally selfless and fabulous!  As you probably already guessed, that did not happen. God rarely does what is expected.

What I got was something entirely unexpected. I looked relatively the same but my sensibilities had changed. My heart had decidedly become a little softer. Hard was becoming soft. I didn't sign up for that. I was in it for a change in altitude, I wanted to bear fruit, I wanted to find my purpose, I wanted an encounter.

Jesus, it seems, was in it for the heart of it.

I listened to the preacher Paula White a lot during that period. Her thoughts on fasting, and I paraphrase here:- 'Fasting does not move God, it moves you.' I wavered in agreement at the time, but at the end, I saw her point. God probably is less impressed that you can bring yourself to stay away from food to allow yourself to spend time with him. After all, we were made to worship him, for in him we live and have our being.

God I believe is decidedly pleased that you have decided to allow him to do a work in you. It is his work, his plan and he will accomplish it as he wills.

Bearing fruit, that Psalm 1 kind of bearing, takes being placed at a spot where there will be an abundance of sustainance; it requires deep roots, it requires pruning, mulching. It requires time but most of all, it requires that seed- that seed that needs to be planted on a soft heart- first!...

Fasting moves you to be obedient to God's probing and prodding. When he says move..move! When he says wait...wait.

Which brings me to my point. I haven't written in a while, partly because I had become very busy with obligations at work but upon listening in my fast...I heard...stop.

I feel like I am hearing that my blog needs to take a different direction, it is actually a series I have been mulling around in my mind for awhile but kept putting it off. So, I am listening for confirmation... I believe I have it now but doubt is still there.

So while me and my heart work out our issues, and I work on my obedience and faith. I will write what is laid on my heart, as I have always done.

That fasting thing. It accomplishes what it will. That Christian fasting. That  Christian fasting thing. That Christian fasting thing that Jesus said will get rid of certain demons, he did it too. He did it before he started his public ministry.  If he can, why not us?

What is your experience with fasting?
Did you get what you imagined you would?
Share your experience with us...

The now empty nest

The empty nest

Pomegranate

Love abuse

Day 5
Love abuse

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him will not perish but have everlasting life."

Recently, I read a blog post on yoursewtrendy.com, my fellow blogger Jaime hosts Sitting Among Friends blog party every Wednesday. I'm always there.(I can't make a live link because I'm using my phone, but I urge you to check it out). She wrote a post about love and examples of love in the Bible and how we can follow those examples when we love. It struck a cord and one song kept playing in my mind. 'God favoured me'. One line from it in particular.. ' love, I've had my share of Love Abuse..manipulated and its strength misused..'

Yes, I thought, love abuse. I've had a lot of that. We've had a lot of that and on today, Valentines Day, many are celebrating just that. Love abuse. When you have had that pure genuine child-like love we all originally had manipulated and misused, we begin to have doubts. We first doubt ourselves. We doubt others. We doubt love. We wrap that soft love with hard shells. We build walls instead of bridges. We start to mistrust love. We tell love it doesn't exist.

If there comes a time when genuine love appears, we find it hard to recognise it. We tell it it's a liar. We accuse it. We leave it for that special friend....love abuse. We become trapped in a cycle of hurt and abuse..with little love to show for it.

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is felt most when it's genuine
And I know he favoured me because my enemies did try, but didn't triump over me.

Now that hard has covered soft, and we only recognise and respond to love abuse; in comes God with that love on a cross. In comes God that's says ' I love you my child'. I love you with all my being. I love you with all your faults and flaws. I love your hard places. I love your soft places. Will you love me back? The dilemma now is, you don't know what to do with this type of love. You no longer trust yourself to choose love. You only now know, love abuse.

Houston.. We have a problem!

Many times, its not that we don't want to love God, it's that we don't know what real love looks like anymore. We can't let anyone into our hard places for fear that they will injure our soft places. We can't trust the people we see, touch and feel, how must we accept, receive the love of Jesus?

Truth is, there is no easy answer to that question. The answer that I know, is just to try him. Just to try him fully and you would be surprised how much he will heal your unspoken broken and make you whole again. The next thing you have to do is Trust him. That's the hard part. The trust part. You don't even trust your own judgement. But you must let go and let God..* welp*. It must be done. It can be done; slowly. Strip back the layers and receive a lover who is willing to be with you even unto death. One who doesn't just pay lip service but one who actually has the holes in his hands to prove it.

I'm not big on Valentines Day, something about being single has something to do with it. What I am big on is learning to recognise the love of Jesus as something wonderful.

And I know he favoured me because my enemies did try but couldn't triump over me.

"Jesus wept."

How do you love?

Day 4

Jesus loves us

I typed the perfect little post, it got deleted.... Queue my * wonk wonk* soundtrack somebody. Day 4 has its challenges, life is full of them but we must soldier on. Luke 22:32 says " But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to me, strengthen your brethren." The Lord prays for us! Isn't that incredibly awesome?

Jesus prays that our faith in him not wane, even when Satan seeks to sift us like wheat. He is watching, he is present. He is praying.
Luke 22:32, says importantly..' When' ...when you have returned to me, not ' if'. Not if but when. Jesus knows that sometimes, life may rock us, sift us and beats us to the ground; he knows too, that sometimes we may just deny ever knowing him because of it. But he's a praying father, and there isn't anything more powerful than a praying parent.

Why do we pray for our children? In a word...love.

Malachi 1:2 " I have loved you, saith the Lord. Yet Ye say, Wherein hath thou loved us...? God has demonstrated his unfailing love towards his children in so many ways long before he was nailed betwixt two thieves. His love for us his only crime. Our crime? Denying him. Denying his love.

How do we love?

I listened to a video recently about the book the Giving Tree. I read the book a long time ago, a boy, who a tree loved first, would go playing under the tree. The tree, because of its love gave unselfishly anything the boy asked. The tree willingly gave his fruits,  its shade and as the boy grew he asked for more, eventually taking the lumber leaving the tree with just its stump. Years later, the boy, now a man came back but there wasn't anything else for him to receive. The tree offered its stump. The man sat.

I always felt bad for the tree, it didn't know to say ' no'. It gave everything it had, for love, our God gave his very life, because, like the Giving Tree, he loved us first. Unlike the tree, God tempers our desires for our own good. We will not always get everything we ask for even though Jesus will always have what to give.

Many times we behave just like the boy in the story, we selfishly ask for things not thinking how it affects others. We treat Jesus as if he is our giving tree, and when we get what we desire, we forget him; only to come back when we are in need again.

How do we love?

I have no problem loving everybody, it's just my neighbour I can't love!.... I laughed, yes, we live just like that. People are hard to love, up close. We have to try to follow  Jesus' example of love. Love, yet say no. Love, and say yes. Love and say wait. Love and let go. Love and let God. Love and be patient. Love and be kind. Love and be wise. Love and be sacrificial. Love and give. Love, even if you love first, love even if you are hated. Love even when persecuted. Love and forgive. Love and love.

How did Jesus love?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life.

Is your answer always a yes? Be careful who you say yes to!

Day 3
What are you saying 'yes' to?

Romans 5:19 "For by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by one shall many be made righteous"

So an odyssey began. One that led one righteous innocent man to die on a cross of sin and shame to save me. I said it, out loud even. "I was innocent of the charges, I had done nothing wrong, I didn't crucify him." I was guilty on all accounts. Made a sinner since that faithful day, that day before man counted time. I was made guilty that day when bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, the perfect help meet made a fatal decision. I was made guilty when the man looked upon the woman who was made only for him, said ..."yes". Innocence was lost for us all that day when the first man was obedient to his perfect mate but disobedient to his maker.

That word, 'yes' is a tricky one. We say 'yes' many times when we really want to say no. We feel so obligated to say yes to everyone; to please everyone, to strip ourselves in our obedience to 'yes'. As a parent, you will remember around the age of two, when your sweet little babies learnt the word 'no!' We were at our wits end when they say no, even to the things they needed. We encourage 'yes's', we encourage obedience in our children. They need to be obedient to us,to their teachers, to adults, to the Sunday school teacher, to the choir director and of course to God! Many times- in that order. Obedience for me comes with a caveat. Yes- doesn't always signal obedience.

Jesus's obedience is hard for me to accept; that being fully man and fully God has my mind saying 'no'. I can't wrap my head around it. I understand most things in theory, I understand the concept of being God and man- I understand that heaven wasn't empty - I understand that Jesus was born of a woman - I get it- in theory. Here's where I have an issue- being God with this plan of his - Jesus's 'obedience' didn't seem to me like much of a choice between that 'yes' and 'no'. John 1 is interesting to me in this regard " 1. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2. The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him: and without him was not anything made that was made. 4. In him was life; and the life was the light of men.5 And the light shinneth in darkness;and the darkness comprehended it not.God made everything that was made, everything, he is the light and life of us all, he is God and he is the Word. He came among us, yet we couldn't recognize or accept him. All those years spent outside of Christ was me being on the wrong side of history.

But.....

being this God and being this man .................... at once..........................was there really a conflict? Wasn't Jesus's always extremely focused on his mission? Did he at any moment have any wavering at what he was truly here to do?

Luke 22:41"And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down and prayed. 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.44. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground."

Yes.

.....being fully God and fully man made his 'yes' harder; much harder and that is truly what I can't wrap my head around. The fact that he was fully God. That part. Just that part. That's were the true obedience comes in. He made everything in the world and he subjected himself to being crucified by the very people that he made. The fact that there was so much power in him, the fact that he could have called 10,000 angels, the fact that he could have voiced the words 'no' is what is powerful about his yes. If he was fully man, I would have thought him strong, a martyr for his cause, a prophet, a John the Baptist - a man being obedient by a mere 'yes' he was not.

Luke 22:43, says an angel appeared and strengthened him, that struck me the level of conflict that was in him, how much agony he was in that prayer alone wasn't enough- he needed heavenly help. We, however, mere mortals, man only, try to solve our inner conflicts on our own.

God's obedience was by no means easy, being fully God and man. Our obedience, is no less hard. We are Ad'Am's' in our own right. We were made to have dominion on the earth. We were made a little lower than the angels, we are heirs, we have greater works to perform- God said it and he did some awesome things. Yet we are also humans walking and moving in a physical body trapped in a world with people handing us their brand of knowledge of good and evil. How easy it is to say yes, how easy it is to hand off our yes's to our help meets. How easy is it to just say the 'serpent beguiled me' and I did eat.

Luke 22: 40 .... ".Pray that ye enter not into temptation."

Being obedient doesn't always mean saying 'yes' as we have been taught, many times it includes saying no. Many will need to retrain their brains, including me. Say no to sin and shame, say no to our desires, say no our help meets, saying no to the world. Then in obedience, we say 'yes' to Christ. Just yes.

Luke 22: 31 "And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you like wheat: 23 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethen." Isn't this a comfort and a word for us all.

Peace

Related Readings : Luke 22

The empty nest

Day 2
The empty nest

An empty nest, can bring lots and lots of rest. I know, yesterday I slept from 8 in the A.M. to 4:47 in the P.M. I surprised myself! 8 hours and 47 minutes of uninterrupted sleep! I have not had that in a long time. There are two reasons for this - I have the coolest job, so I am on holidays because of Ash Wednesday and I have an empty nest for the weekend! The kids are having a grand time with grandma! My grand time - apparently revolves around sleep- 8 hours of sleep!

His eye is on the sparrow

A few days ago, February 6th to be exact, I stumbled upon a nest (feel free to StumbleUpon my blog :) ). It was perched so low on a hanging branch that I was puzzled by it's mere existence. I thought birds built their nest up high, but, I was happy that I got myself a bird's eye view. I immediately grabbed my camera- you know- the one attached to my phone. I started snapping at the cutest little bird in the perfectly shaped low hanging nest. Just tiny little black eyes with a slender teeny tiny beak revealed their hiding place. Not a sound did they make.As I snapped, I looked around for their mommy- nowhere in sight was she. I felt scared for them. For I knew if any curious kids stumbled upon them, they would be goners. The nest though well camouflaged was much too low - for me.

two little birds by my doorstep

 I called my littlest daughter, I said, I have something to show you - she couldn't see, I had to lift her, she then smiled in awe. She called her sister and her friend who was playing in the yard; my littlest one, shook the branch! Not out of spite I am sure, but out of mere curiousity- she wanted to get close to the birds. I was none too happy, I told her so too and she confirmed my fear - the nest, though well camouflaged was much too low- for me.

Some time later, I went back to check on them, my oldest daughter had reliably informed me, that the mommy bird was out looking for the best worms she could find, and that is why she has been gone for so long. She is filled with little bits of knowledge gems. The mommy had indeed returned, but I saw no worm,and I didn't get that photo op either..*wonk wonk*. The tiny mommy bird perched on a branch above her nest- looking up, I understood now why the nest and the baby birds were so small. I felt comforted that she was back..but still...The nest, though well camouflaged was much too low- for me. I worried about the three.

Today, I went to have a look see. The little birdies were still there, they had grown, some colour had come in on their feathers, and the nest seemed smaller somehow; maybe it seemed that way because they had grown. I snapped pictures, then I saw the mommy bird fly by; I took my queue. I was an unwanted intruder in her home. The nest though well camouflaged was much too low- for me...but...it was working quite well for the three.

The birds today

Luke 12:7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap: which neither have storehouses or barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls.

His eye is on the sparrow, so I know he watches me!

We are many times curious onlookers into other peoples lives, many times we see things that we think needs to be fixed. Often times we offer unsolicited advice, we often fail to realize that what works for us, doesn't necessarily work for others. We oftentimes can be meddlesome and not even know it - for even though a well built nest seems too low for us - it works well for who it serves.

The beauty about the God we serve is that he isn't using a cookie sheet, he doesn't have a one size fits all plan. He has tailored made plans for even the sparrows. If I were a bird, I'd probably build my nest way up high but sometimes 'up there' isn't the best place- it's easier for predators to see.
A low place, that small well camouflaged place, that away from the crowd place, is sometimes the best place. There are times when God has to take us low to protect us, but, we don't see. We see only 'up there'.

And just imagine being up there, deciding in your mind to come down here. This low place. This crazy, carnal, sin-filled place, your very well camouflaged place. Coming here to this low place, was the only way that we could be in a protected space. Heaven...I thought for a moment was contemplating having it's own empty nest. The thought came to me and I dismissed it totally, for my mind knows that heaven wasn't really empty when Jesus was on earth. That whole omni-present bit. But I thought it, I thought it, I contemplated it. A parent on high, sending his child down low, knowing the outcome would be death. A parent that never hovered around the naysayers, the intruders, the know it alls; a parent that watched the agony, pain and suffering of their only child for me, for you, for us. I dismissed that thought, for heaven wasn't really empty.

I, a curious bird watcher, sat considerate of my little discovery, I but for a fleeting moment pondered about their safety. I spared a thought of what they would eat, of where their protector was; but as concerned as I was, it was for a mere moment. I went on with my life. I was also pretty psyched about catching a glimpse of them on camera - the wanna be photographer in me; but I went on with my life.

I tried an overlay

We are not but a mere thought to our Christ, "Behold, I have engraven thee upon the palms of my hands, thy walls are continually before me." (Isaiah 49:16). We are his pride and joy, just like the bird that fluttered by me when I intruded on her home and around her prized possession, so God will protect and avenge us, his prized possessions.

Romans 5: 19 "For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous."

When you look for the 'me' in 'us', you might not see Jes'us'

Day 1

Draw me close – closer than before- closer than I’ve ever been

In Jamaica, we double words for emphasis. When someone has died and we find it hard to believe we ask, “Do you mean the person is dead dead?” Is the cake good good or just good? “Good good would mean it’s very good! I am Jamaican to the core.

A couple years ago a friend asked me if I believed Christ died on the cross for me. I said yes. Then I paused, I asked…Do you mean me me or just people in general. She said, “you”. I paused again.

“No, I said, I wasn’t even born when he died; it was like more than 2000 years ago.”

 “I suppose I believe he died for the people who were living back then, and all their sins. I didn’t commit any sins when he died.”

 “I’m thinking the whole, he died to save us bit was a spill over unto me.” 

I was a Christian when I said that bit. And thank God for how far I have come.

I believed in theory that Christ died for ‘us’ on Calvary’s cross, but somehow, at that  moment, with that question, when I tallied it up in my brain; it didn’t add up. The whole ‘me’ part. That personal part. That Tanya part. Me. Just me.

How could he? Why would he? Why did he? How does it transfer to all who are here now? How does it cover all who aren’t here yet; all who are a mere thought in a couple’s mind? How does it really and truly work like that?

To answer that we have to go back to the beginning, you know- the God created heaven bit, when he fashioned 'man' in his imagine and likeness. That Adam and Eve part. He didn't create them in isolation. In fact in creating them, he fashioned the way for us. All of us - including me. 

I remember being admitted to the hospital once. I was sick sick. Mummy had to leave me, but she left me with this Psalm and these words. Psalm 23. Read it and remember what is says, she said, it's a personal Psalm. It's all about you. Don't worry, I'll be back in the morning. I read it, I trusted and she was indeed back in the morning. We all know it...it reads..

 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Jesus loves ME

 It was all about me. Just me. That me that Jesus thought about on Calvary's cross. That me that he fashioned in my mother's womb. That me that he knew before I was even conceived. That me that is fearfully and wonderfully made. That me, so important that he numbered all the hairs on my head. That me that was made a little lower than angels and crowned in glory and honour. Yes.That me. 

In fact, that me, that you, can get lost  in that 'us'. That Christ died for 'us' phrase. Sometimes we forget the me in us. Sometimes we can forget that Christ carried a cross, died in shame for a 'me' that was there at the base of the cross, as well as a 'me' that would stand infront of her own cross pondering if Christ died for a 'me' or an 'us'. 

I was not there. I committed no sin. I didn't say 'crucify Him'; yet, he died then and there, on that cross of shame, for a future that I was to gain. I accept it. I live in it. I am growing in it. Me.

Truth be told- my thoughts that Christ did not die for me me, is the thought of the many who reject him daily. It is the thought of the many who think they are too far gone, too wrapped up in sin, to accept that their sins have been forgiven and their souls redeemed more than 2000 years ago by a Christ that sees all things and knows all things. A God who in Genesis told us that the seed of a woman would crush the serpent's head. Yes, that God knew, from Genesis, the beginning, what would happen 2000 years after; and he told us too. We serve an all powerful God. A good that is concerned with the 'me' as well as the 'us'.

So why did he do it? How does it transfer to me..just me? 

Genesis 1: 26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Why did he want to save me? because he made me just like himself, I am just like God, I am his image, I am his likeness. I am holy, I am righteousness, I am beautiful, pure, blessed, wonderfully made. If God was Jamaican, he would say - She mek good good- translation - 31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. 

That's why he died on that cross for us - for me; because I was made not just good, but good good, and anything made very well is indeed worth saving. Let us embrace Him in this the 40 days leading up to the cross with a hope to find me and us in Jesus Christ our Saviour and soon coming King. 

Related Readings : Genesis 1-4

You may also like: Abridge to a cross

https://williamstand.blogspot.com/2015/08/a-bridge-to-cross.html