Passion or purpose?

Passion or purpose? 

It's hard to navigate this life as an adult - 'adulting' is hard! And I feel like the universe tricked me into becoming one. But nevertheless - I must soldier on. 

I have been learning a lot lately and I have really been trying to understand my life's journey. I have conversations with friends and with God often about what my purpose is. I scroll through social media and I am bombarded by the many podcasts, clips, conferences and posts about living your purpose and by extension- 'your best life' and many times it leaves me feeling a bit- well- inadequate.

It seems as if everyone is living that 'purpose driven life' except me! 

"Find what you are passionate about" they say.

"Do what you are passionate about and you will never have to work a day in your life!" 

"Find your purpose" and the universe will unfold itself to you.

These statements have become very popular in our culture lately so I wanted to take a little peep into the passion / purpose mentality.

I like that word 'passion' It seems intense, exciting and energizing. There are a few things I am passionate about, my job, my children, creating learning tools for my classroom are just a few. I will spend hours on end creating tools for my classroom and have been known to burn dinner because I was so wrapped up with making something I totally forgot I was cooking. If I am to follow the 'passion' guide, creating learning tools could be something that I could happily do for the rest of my life! This kind of passion can also be monetized and that could lead to me living my best life too. Passion, this tangible that can get you on your life's path does have a flip side though.

I'm passionate about writing, yet, I haven't written a single word on here since January! I think about writing all the time, and am subscribed to so many newsletters from writers,I have read so many blog posts but still that passion hasn't translated into anything remotely meaningful. Maybe my passion has waned and it just needs a new course or an amazing motivational speaker to get things kick started again? What do you think?

The truth is - Passion lies. 

Passion is controlled by emotions. Emotions? well they are a fickle thing. 

Passion is a feeling, an emotion, a strong will to do something that drives you. As long as emotions are at the heart of a thing, we must step back and examine that very thing. Emotions are wrapped up in self.

For an art course, I interviewed a well known Jamaican painter, I asked him - 'how do you get the drive to paint so many things?' His response - 'I wake up and I don't want to always finish what I start but then I remember that I have a family to feed, and so I do what I must.' Passion? His passion to provide for his family was greater than the passion that started his creative works. Both, however feelings of duty. Duty to self, duty to family.

So if passion is a liar -what of purpose?

As for finding purpose? I didn't even know it was lost. Let's be honest - at some point in one's life they will question their true purpose on the planet. What am I here for? Why was I created? What meaningful thing should I be doing to impact the world?

How does one seek out that which is seemingly lost? Send a search party? Call in the coast guard? Ask family and friends? Search within? Go on a retreat? Do meditation and yoga? I don't know either - I never professed to know anything. But I do know someone who does.

All the years I thought God forgot to make Eve, I always felt like she was an after thought until I recognized that God had that intention all along. He just wanted Adam to equally recognize that he needed someone too.  It was not until Adam was actively doing something that he recognized that he was indeed one of a kind and that is when God created his Eve.

It's interesting to note that in Genesis 2 vs 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof   that the Lord brought the animals to Adam, he was helping Adam fulfill his purpose. Adam could have easily walked the garden and do his animal inventory and namely by himself; but God was very intentional in the way this purpose was achieved - together.  Adam didn't have to go searching for his purpose and neither do you.

That same God that helped Adam, is the same God we serve today.We don't need  a 'discovery call' or to do a course on Udemy. Our purpose has already been given to us. We need to be in union with our maker and the best thing is - he will help us to do the work - not do it for us though!

We have to do the work - Listen, scientist say there are 1.2 million known species of animals on the planet - known! Adam had a lot of work to do and when we read the bible, we tend not to place it in its proper time context - this whole animal naming purpose of Adam probably took years. And he had to be original too, with zero duplication - just wow!

Purpose takes the same amount of work that passion does - the difference is purpose is God given and passion is self driven.

So that seemingly elusive purpose that so many seek, how does it reveal itself to us? Live in the presence of God. Walk and talk with him in the cool of the day and follow his command to be fruitful, replenish the earth and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1 vs. 28).

Can I be frank, knowing ones purpose doesn't mean that we will live it out, just like being passionate about something means that we are going to do it. Living  a God given purpose requires trust, love, faith and total obedience. Purpose carries responsibilities that one might not be prepared for and that is one reason we don't go searching for it, we are made to discover it when we are uniquely ready to take it on. The Lord must prepare us as he did Adam, helping and guiding on the way. 

 How can we be sure we are in purpose or passion? The truth is we can be passionate about something and that is not what the Lord would have us do to reach the lost.  We can be passionate about medical advocacy or feeding the homeless or teaching, all good things, yet, it might not be your God given purpose. It might just be something you became deeply enthralled in because of a life experience or a goal you had as a child. That thing you are passionate about is not necessarily that gift that will make room for you. 

Passion can mimick purpose so closely that it might be hard to decipher between the two.

Passion wants to help people too

Passion makes you do the work as well

Passion drives you daily
Passion needs sacrifice

Passion feels optimistic all the time

Passion can bring fruitfulness and growth in many areas

Passion can take you many places - infront of kings even

Passion can seem innate 

Passion has imposter syndrome too

How do you know for sure you are walking in God's purpose for your life? I don't think that you can ever be 100% sure but I do know that if you are in communion with him, it will become clearer when you actually begin.

That purpose thing - it requires real sacrifice. I don't want to do it sacrifice

That purpose thing - it requires time and communion with God.

That purpose thing - it requires faith

That purpose thing - at the heart of it is love

That purpose thing - it requires a trust, not in self or your innate abilities but a trust so big, it's scary

That purpose thing - it requires work

That purpose thing - it requires a vision so much bigger than yourself

That purpose thing - it requires fasting, prayer and action

That purpose thing - it requires you to do a thing without knowing what the next thing to do is

That purpose thing - it is hard and it is scary.

Not every one is passionate about a thing but every one was created with purpose. Everyone. Stop searching for your purpose. Simply ask God to reveal it to you and then move at it purposefully.

I write not out of passion, I think I did at first, but now I must write out of purpose.

Share how you will commune with God to reveal his purpose for your life

Jeremiah 29:11For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.


you may also like: this post on fear
or this one on faith

life doesn't just happen.....

'It's  life, things happen'...I've  been hearing that a lot lately.

I don't want to believe that. I can't afford to believe that. Alot of 'things' have been happening lately and it's been a little more than stressful - and if life just kinda happens...its happening to me a little too much.

Car trouble..check
Sickness...check
Work stress...check
Phone issues...check
Big fat no...check
Frustrations....check
Faith issues?....

Yes,  life has happened and there are days when I have felt like having a pity party in the basement with some coconut ice-cream but life doesn't  just happen to me. I had to remind myself  of that a couple of times this week.

My steps are ordered by the Lord!

Faith issues?...

When things seem endlessly slow and unbearably  low,
 Remember our God sits high and looks low. He has promised to never leave or forsake us; He is our father and he is just.
Encourage yourself in the Lord, speak life with every word.
The world may say that things just happen but the Christian should know all things happen for good to them that love the Lord and are called by his purpose.

Faith issues?..... I'm leaving that box unchecked.

For those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength...that word renew....make new again...rewind...again and again as life ' happens' .... I' ll wait on renewal.


I'm still here!

When Jesus replies with a BIG FAT NO!

On Saturday my phone got shattered.

Just four days later, my hopes suffered the same fate.

I was listening to a preacher on Periscope on Saturday, he was giving a simple, yet powerful message – Psalm 50:23 “Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God.” It struck a chord. I had been letting my doubts speak for years. The next few days, I had fewer conversations! The ones I had were just with me and my God. I had begun to understand that I needed to speak life over myself.

If you asked me to explain how the phone fell face down on the cold hard concrete, I’m not sure I could, but as I caught my breath and hoped for the best, disappointment came. Remarkably, all functionality of the phone was intact, the Periscope replay still played, the volume was still soul reaching, but it was shattered nonetheless. I was running my life from that device, this blog, schoolwork, research, my bible notes, pictures, just about everything was on it and I had to decide, should I pronounce it dead or try to make it ‘worthy’ again? I chose the latter. Hopefully, it can be repaired as good as new.

There is this song like – ‘When Jesus says Yes, nobody can say No,’ (and isn’t that the truth) but when you land on the other side of Yes, that flipside, that BIG FAT NO  side – there is another song you sing.

I had fasted. I prayed. I repeated bible promises. I planted a seed. I had spoken life over my days. I had been asking Jesus for something my heart desired, something I had hoped for. Jesus grants the desires of your heart. That same Jesus, after my sacrifice, said…NO! A BIG FAT NO!

On Wednesday, hope, well- it just died – fullstop.

I now, became my phone – shattered but working; fully functional with a broken screen. If you asked me to explain why my hopes fell on the cold hard concrete of life, I’m not sure I could, but as I stepped out in faith and outside of fear, disappointment came with that BIG FAT NO!

Out of all the people in the Bible, I have never heard anybody wanting to be Job – ever! No one names their kid Job, no one longs to lose their loved ones, no one wants to have their friends say the dumbest things at the most painful time of their life and no one wants to lose all they have ever had. If there was ever a happy ending in the Bible, it was Job, but the process! The process was brutal!

The thing about Job though, that we all, I’m sure, find remarkable, was that faith; Satan questioned it, but God, he believed in it. God believed in Job’s faith so much that he removed that covering from him and let that Satan run Job through a sieve. He shattered his business, wealth and family in one go! Talk about overkill!

Curse God and die!

Job couldn’t see the future, he wasn’t a prophet, he didn’t dream dreams, he, just a man, who loved God. On that day when his hopes were shattered, Job could not envision the turn- around that lay up in God’s hand for him – all he could see was desolation.  YET – all he held onto was his God!

His fate didn’t determine his faith – neither must yours or mine

I would take a guess and say that Job probably prayed that day when he lost everything; I’m sure he made all the relevant first fruit and burnt offerings unto his God, but that didn’t spare him from being shattered.

God, must teach lessons in faith, he tailors his plans according to his students. Differentiated learning they call it in education circles, I have to do it too, it takes into account your students’ abilities and learning styles – I must teach the way all my students learn. It isn’t a one size fits all experience anymore. This NO, was my differentiated instruction.

I had whispered in my prayer time that I wanted an increase in faith, I had said it out loud too; the word became flesh; God agreed, then replied with that BIG FAT NO! – Now your move my child.

Curse God and Die!

Job 2:10   But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job, did not lose his integrity, and neither will I. Psalm 34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

I had whispered for increased faith. God had answered, “I will grant your request for increased faith, by saying NO, now. I will say NO now, and see if you will still TRUST me, see if you will still LOVE me, see if you will still believe that I WILL do exceedingly abundantly above ALL that you ask or think.” God whispered a BIG FAT NO  and I shed a tear or two, but my faith did not waiver, and I surprised myself when I whispered … “Well, I guess you have something better in store for me; guess I will wait.” 

So, that No song you sing, that we have sent for Jesus but he hasn't come song, I’ll sing it knowing “he’s four days late, but still on time.” 

Martha thought all hope was lost, the family was shattered but God was going to show up and Lazarus was going to come forth. I was disappointed, but I didn't die!

Do you think God loves us any less than he did Lazarus?

1Corinthians 2:9   But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

I'm there for it!

 Related post : Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

You may also like : Hello Fear

Hello fear, there's something I need to tell you

Hello fear.

Just before the Easter break, I started teaching homophones, in our curriculum, it is referred to as word pairs. Fear, was not one of my featured words - it came in threes. I didn't want to complicate matters in an introductory lesson.

Fear, you see, complicates matters.

Fear and I have been having a symbiotic relationship for years, a little fear is good right? It keeps you in check, keeps you out of trouble and it can even help you to make critical decisions (that fight or flight hormone). Over time though, things took a turn for the worst. Fear became a friend I loved to love, and it slowly ate away at my being.

Fear overtakes things and makes light places dark places.

Recently, while I looked at my fearful place through a trembling heart, I realised how much of myself I allowed fear to cover with its dark veil. I hadn't allowed parts of me to live. I hadn't allowed parts of me to be known. I hadn't allowed myself to be forgiven...by me.

Fear, you see, takes small pieces at a time...until...

It is a crippling feeling to face my fear, for in doing so, I had to face a part of me that made me feel shame. I had made a mistake that was costly. I had made a mistake that had ramifications. I had made a mistake that I let define me. My mistake, let fear dwell in my mind and my heart. But, I lived life with a smile that covered fallen away pieces. I lived life with my own private, unspoken fear.

Fear likes to hide things.

When God decides to work on a heart, he's going to disturb some things. He's going to uncover some things. He's going to come in with that light and shine it on that dark place. That place that fear abides. Funny, one would imagine that when his light bursts in and illuminates a dark place, that would be the end of that- no more darkness right?....wrong!
Just like a flashlight in a dark room, he zooms in on an area; you get to see the rubble that's there. You then, have to clean up!

Fear meets fare.

When that light shun on fear, when I saw how many pieces of myself was hidden in the dark places, I wept. I wept because of my mistake. I wept because I had become a prisoner of my past. I wept because I was afraid to clean up. When you have to take piles of garbage out, it's highly likely that people will see. It's even more likely that they will judge you. It's a given, you will condemn yourself. I did. But. I looked at fear, and through the tears, I said 'hello fear'...there's something I need to tell you!
"Meet your word pair...fare." A price has already been paid for me to journey through this life, without you.

2 Timothy 1:7 " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind"

Facing fears ultimately means stepping out in faith. Faith is the kryptonite of fear. Faith; my greatest struggle to date. So, if God is shinning his light on my fears, he is simply asking me to increase my faith. He is asking me to trust him. He is asking me to rest in him. He is loving my unspoken broken to wholeness.

Letting go of fear, means letting go of a familiar safety net. When you do that, you mourn a loss. This too can lead to another kind of vulnerability, that can lead to...fear.

What if I let go of fear and I am judged?
What if my mistake is forgiven by God but not by man?
What if I fail?
What if my faith weins?

Fear not!

Fear delights in secrecy. Fear establishes insecurity. Fear gives legitimacy to self doubt. Fear cripples. Fear steals time and let dreams die. Fear held these words in its dark place.

I put off writing this post for weeks, fear gripped the words and threw it in a pile of rubble. It turns out, that's the very pile God shun his light on. I saw it. I moved towards the pile with knees that wobbled, I took up a word at a time like a shy child in a room full of strangers. My heart pounded through my chest with every word I made into a sentence until I breathed steady breaths of relief. God, never gives you more than you can bear and he only asks you to bare your dark places to heal your brokeness.

" So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10.

Hello fear'...there's something I need to tell you...I made a list and you're on it.

Hello Fear" by Kirk Franklyn

Hello Fear 
Before you sit down there's something I need to explain 
Since you're here 
I think I should tell you since we last talked things have changed 
See I'm tired of being broken-hearted 
So I made a list and you're on it 
All my hopes and my dreams You took from me 
I want those back before you leave 

Hello Fear 
I knew I would see you, You have a hard time letting go 
See these tears,Take a good look cuz, soon they wont fall anymore 
God's healing my hurtful places 
That seat that was yours now is taken 
I'm no longer afraid,See I'm better this way 
And one more thing before you leave 

[Chorus]
Never again will I love you 
My heart it refuses to be your home 
No longer your prisoner 
Today I remember 
Apart from you is where I belong 

And never again will I trust you 
I'm tired of fighting it's been way too long 
No longer your prisoner 
Today I remember 
Who I was and now it's gone 
They're gone 
Hello Fear 
Da da da da da, da da da da da 

Farewell Goodbye So long [3X]

Hello Grace 
It feels like forever, I thought my chance with you was gone 
See your face, it reminds me of mercy 
And please let me say I was wrong 
Never knew your touch was endless 
How you never run dry of forgiveness 
Didn't know how bad it was, was afraid just because 
Sorry fear, grace took your place 

[Chorus]

Farewell Goodbye So long [8X]

Hello Fear 
Before you sit down there's something I need to explain

Taken from www.azlyrics.com

When did God ask for your help exactly?

As I sat in air conditioned comfort, huddled between a stranger and a friend listening to a Korean pastor sharing God's word in a most animated tone, I couldn't help but smile in my heart at a God that sends messages in the wind that need no translation. The very last day of this seminar that I was invited to a week prior, was about faith - the very thing I was struggling with, just this week.

The message - just have faith - wait on God - don't try to help him accomplish his promises to you - he doesn't need your help!

After this message that I almost missed due to a full day of Christmas activities, there was a one on one 'ministering session'....being a strange face...I was bait. Not only was I bait - I was perplexed bait.
A sprightly chap tried his best to explain....needless to say - I didn't get it.

Do nothing while I wait? What do you mean do nothing? I have to do something...afterall - do I just sit around twiddling my thumbs and just wait?....NO - that wasn't flying with me. There must be something I can do....

The message referenced Abraham, Moses and David....

Abraham did something while he waited on God to fulfill his promise to him. He had Ishmael.  We all know how that turned out!

But still...what do I do in the meantime...in between time?

Nothing! Just wait. Just depend on God's unwavering hand to do his work- his way - instead of  him having to accomplish his will plus fix your mess; you know- the mess you made trying to 'help' him.

Genesis 18:14 Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son. 

For there is nothing impossible for the Lord but there are many things that are not possible for you. And if you believe you had a hand in achieving God's plan for you; you might be tempted to glorify self!

But just do nothing?! 

So if the Lord promised you a husband, wouldn't it be logical that you would start to go out more? Visit some more parks? Attend more social events? Visit a few more churches? Become more social? Sign up for an online dating site perhaps? Afterall...you have to meet the person somewhere right?

So..you mean to say that a God that created the universe needs your help in providing a meeting spot for a husband he picked out for you since before the beginning of time? Really? Do you believe if you never leave your house again that God wouldn't still have you meet this person?

In the natural, the answer would be:  'to meet someone, you need to 'meet' them, so I would have to Do Something in order to 'help' God.

But, again the question is  "Is there anything impossible for God?"

Well, how about helping God to save people? How about starting a blog to get God's word out to the nations? Putting his words and work out there, showcasing our lives and experiences to build God's kingdom? Following truly the 'Great Commission" (Mathew 28:19)

Truth be told, most of everything I write ends up speaking to me and what God is trying to accomplish in me! If it's helping anybody else, it is not because of my writing style or bible knowledge - the two- need plenty of work - it is simply because of this - God's word cannot return void, but accomplish what it will. His will is being done. I am merely an instrument. If it were for me alone..I'd be fast asleep in bed!

Does God need our help? Probably not!


 But, I had an issue with what the pastor was saying!

My reasoning - God uses people, people come into your lives, they change the course of it; many help you find God, some help you rekindle your relationship with God, others through their hurt, betrayal and disappointment help you to lean on God - all done through- well - People. So you look through a lens that views - people- as the vehicle in which you 'found' God.

But

.........it was all God...all the time...working through people! They were not helping God. God was helping them. Helping them to reconcile his people unto himself.

The fact that God works through man to accomplish his will does not mean he needs our help to do anything! I have to let this marinate a little. I need time with this one.


Humans, are busy little bees, buzzing around, pollinating brightly coloured open flowers, who are blowing in the wind, waiting to be impregnated with the Word. Trouble is- all these busy little bees are buzzing around with their own words, their own ideas, and their own thoughts on how they can 'help' God accomplish his will. Many have good intentions. The road to hell is paved with many a good intention.

Bees, are responsible for one-third of the world's food supply! Imagine that! Now imagine us being busy bees pollinating one-third of the world with our own version of what God wants us to do to help Him! Scary thought!


So, do nothing to help God probably doesn't mean to sit around and twiddle your thumbs afterall. Maybe it means do nothing of yourself.
Do nothing from your own imaginings.
Do nothing from the standpoint of vain deceits, because God's ways are not your ways; so in helping him it is perfectly plausible that you will create major problems for yourself and others.


So, instead, wait on the promise. Have faith in the unseen. Read, study, pray and be guided, even if the rain you are waiting for takes 120 years. Building the Ark doesn't mean you are helping God, it means you are being obedient to what God has told you to do for Him to accomplish His will.

Well....it's what I think anyways. Maybe you disagree...

Related post: Birthdays and Mercedes Benz

Readings: Isaiah 55

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry but God's plans never do

I was sitting in a planning meeting, the speaker was talking about making plans, and just how important plans are to daily routines, then a colleague said, I live by this saying "If you fail to plan, then plan to fail." The presenter agreed, then she said..

The bible can't ever be wrong- it teaches us everything! Remember - Nehemiah had a plan!

I scribbled a note on the sticky side of my brain - 'Read Nehemiah' Truth be told, when she said Nehemiah had a plan, I just smiled, I didn't know what his plan had been, I didn't know his story, and I felt a little....deflated. 

A girl on a christian journey that had never read the book of Nehemiah, and that voice that creeps in like the dark horse in a race said - ' you are a fraud and you have no right writing a blog if you don't even know your bible from cover to cover.' I listened. I agreed. 

I'm not a planner. I'm not big on making any kind of plans. I'm that person that makes a list in my head, then forgets the salt- the very thing that was down to the last grain. I'm that person that in an effort not to be saltless makes a list the next time and leaves the list on the table at home, and stands again in the store hapless and leaves, you guessed it - saltless.

Recently, I was likened to one of the 5 foolish virgins - halfway prepared - and I must admit- it just might be the truth about me. I know I need salt, I have the money to buy the salt, I go to where the salt is, I get everything else, then remember the salt when I get home, and either have to go back to get it or well, ask my neighbour for some...neighbours always have salt, and they usually say yes, unlike the wise virgins. 

But in my culture, even though your neighbour will give you a little salt, they'll talk about you after; they'll talk about you being saltless.

In the planning meeting we were challenged to do a look at self, then make a plan - so I decided to stare the dark horse in the face and made a plan to read Nehemiah. I was glad it wasn't a long read, I find the Old Testament belabouring to read, which is probably why I have never read every book thereof! I said it! I admit it! Should I be ashamed of it? Probably, but I'm on a journey to change it and the Master in his wisdom, got me to read Nehemiah, for such a time as this.

I have embarked on a new phase, and I need to plan now more than ever. I need to put it on paper, I need to be consistent and I need to follow through. Nehemiah taught a lot of lessons, he realized there was a grave situation facing his people, he felt sorrowful but he didn't try to fix it himself , like we often do. He simply prayed. His answer wasn't immediate. 4 months. 

Nehemiah was a cup bearer, a pretty snazzy kind of job back in those days, but he decided that he was going to leave the comforts of a palace to build a wall... yes a wall, he was going to chip his nails, get dirty, sweat and deal with all sorts of issues that undoubtedly he wouldn't have encountered in a palace, but he was willing and ready to go. 

Nehemiah made a plan, he didn't plan to fail, he motivated a people and he got them to believe in their God again, he got them to see his vision- the hallmark of a great leader. He faced opposition with wisdom and stood firm on the promises of his God. The people kept building with a sword in hand! 

I am not sure if Nehemiah knew anything about construction, afterall he was tucked away in a palace, I'm not sure if he was a great motivational speaker, but he got a people to rebuild, I'm not sure he was skilled in enemy combat or warfare but he overcame all the plans of his enemies. What I am sure of is - He knew that his God would give him great success and if God said it- he certainly believed it!

  Nehemiah 2:19 But when Sanballat the Horonite, and Tobiah the servant, the Ammonite, and Geshem the Arabian, heard it, they laughed us to scorn, and despised us, and said, What is this thing that ye do? will ye rebel against the king? 20 Then answered I them, and said unto them, The God of heaven, he will prosper us; therefore we his servants will arise and build: but ye have no portion, nor right, nor memorial, in Jerusalem.

If we pray to God and he answers our prayers in a certain fashion, would we run to it like Nehemiah did? Is it that we would leave our comfort zones and comfortable palaces to go to a city in ruins? Maybe our lives are what lies in ruins, and God is saying, get up from this comfort that you think you have and go forth to rebuild your life, one broken, burnt up brick at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was the wall, so it takes time, it takes effort, it takes sweat, it takes patience but most of all to rebuild it takes putting on the whole armour of God, with a sword in our hand while we rebuild. 

The enemy will come in - he will laugh at your wall, he will say : Nehemiah 4:3 Now Tobiah the Ammonite was by him, and he said, Even that which they build, if a fox go up, he shall even break down their stone wall. But be steadfast, unmovvable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. ( 1 Cor. 15:58).

Nehemiah proves that with a plan and with unmmovable faith in the face of adversity, much can be accomplished. The wise virgins knew that a plan was important too, and so does God, He always has a plan- always. 

When I considered this lesson that I am now painting on this canvas I think of all who say - we shouldn't make plans, for tomorrow isn't promised to anyone, so planning is a bit presumptuous, I thought about it a lot but I'm going to have to disagree, if your plans are ordered by the Lord, if he leads the way, there will be provision, there will be time, there will be success. If God plans, then I must also plan in Him and through Him.

So I have made a plan, to have a plan, to stand on the promises of God, and when the dark horse neighs, I will swiftly say 'The God of heaven will give me success.' 

My posts have been few this month of October, so I have made a plan, to post every Wednesday and Fridays in spite of the rubble that is at my feet.

What plans have you made lately? Did you apply the Nehemiah principle? Will you from now on?
PRAY - PLAN - TESTIFY - MOTIVATE - GET HELP - USE WISDOM TO DEFEAT THE ENEMY - BUILD YOUR FORTRESS - PRAISE GOD.

Reading : Nehemiah , Mathew 25 vs.1-13

Related post: When delay feels like denial

How not to trade God's perfect for yours, cause yours is useless

Ever so often when bloggers take a hiatus, they come back with a post to say " my life has been so crazy" or "I've been incredibly busy," so posts, which are for the most part, a hobby, gets put on the back burner. Christian bloggers are no different, even though their purpose for posting may be a tad different from other bloggers. So I'm just going to say it - I've been incredibly busy - incredibly!

I started a new job, one that's been waiting on me since I was knitted in my mother's womb and I've been overwhelmed! There is much to do, and as the days drag on, I have been feeling a bit, well incompetent.

It's a challenge.

 Jeremiah 29:11 I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Even though I have been wanting this, I found myself saying- out loud - 'be careful what you wish for' and when it left my mouth, I felt, well, incredibly ungrateful.

I wanted the idea of the job, I invented the perfect setting, a perfect approach from me, and my own expected end- but in reality I got - an imperfect brokeness that I have been trying to fix.

That's the first challenge

I have been trying to fix it. And I have discovered, I am No good at fixing broken. This, I already knew- in theory. We all want to fix things don't we? We all want to fix others, but the only way to fix anything, truly fix anything is giving the brokenness to God, our potter, and stay on our knees while he gives beauty for ashes.

I originally thought that I was instructed to write these posts for others, however, I have discovered that it is God's way to speak His words into my heart- first. It's His way of hiding His word in my heart, so that I do not sin against Him.

Many days that turned into years, I felt that my prayers were laughing at me, they were piercing firey darts into my heart but God was stripping, he was humbling, he was building. I realized that. Now that He has granted the desires of my heart, I was hoping I would be comfortable. I was hoping for a perfectly comfortable situation. But God doesn't do comfort zones. God does stretching. God does growing. God does perfect. His perfect; not mine.

So what do you do in a imperfectly perfect situation? 

Stay close to the source, God's ways are not your ways, and if He has sent you somewhere, it's to accomplish his will for your life, as well as for someone elses.

When I read the story of Jonah, I didn't marvel so much about him being in the belly of the whale as much as to his reaction after the Lord decided to spare the people of Nineveh from destruction. He was sorely upset. God, in His wisdom, had done what He knew was best for 120,000 people, but the 1 was upset. The 1, had no right to be, for THE ONE, had made a decision to use 1 to save many.

I do not know why I am where I am, that's the hard part, that's the trust part, that's that faith walk part- that's the part, I struggle with. I just want to know- it would be easier to know how to 'plan' if only I knew part- but if God is in it, it's bigger, better and more perfect than any plan that I could ever imagine or think. And my imagination doesn't know small.

So now, I leave the fixing to the professional.

Now, I will not allow myself to become overwhelmed because of this-
Now I will not feed the seed of insecurities because of this-
Now I allow myself to grow into my destiny because of this-

Philippians 4:13 I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me. Not some, not most. ALL. 3 letters that pack a powerful punch. 3 letters that says I AM.

Do you have a similar story where your prayers were answered but not in the way you wanted? Share it with us.

Related post: When delay feels like denial and you are just about to give up

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When a mustard seed is all you need, because God understands small

The Bible is full of possibilities. It makes a mockery of being boxed in and colouring within lines of expectations. It's within the best selling book of all time that we learn of infinite possibilities.

It's where we learn that dry bones can live, if you speak to it and let God breathe life into it.

It's where a boy can defeat a giant with a sling, a stone and God's unseen hand.

It's where Daniel can sit with the king of the Jungle and not be moved.

If you don't believe me, ask Moses about the Red Sea.

There is another way to phrase the possibilities of the Bible. In one word.    

Impossible.

I've been to a lot of churches. I attended one, where hugs were new every Sunday morning. Their patron saint was Thomas the Apostle. Yes. Doubting Thomas.

I like Thomas. He was real. Honest. He said 'Except I shall see in his hands the prints of the nails,and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side,I will not believe.'(John 20:25)He would not believe,even though his fellow disciples told him they had seen him. And who could blame him?  Do we always believe others when they say they have had an encounter with Jesus?

Thomas the disciple wasn't an extra ordinary human, he was just a mere man, Jesus- another man that walked alongside him.

But...

How could Thomas after seeing Jesus' miracles, had the benefit of his teaching, having eaten with him, drank with him, learning at his feet not believe that Jesus could overcome death and be raised from the dead? Didn't he remember what happened with Lazarus?

He didn't believe because he was a mere mortal, as mortals we often suffer from forgetfulness and preface hard things not as possibilities but as impossible.

The possibilities are infinite in God.

Hebrews 11:6 But without faith, it is Impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.'

The Bible is about possibilities.

That word faith, the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1) is poignant.

We live in a tangible world. We see all we want, we hold, touch, feel and smell everything we hold dear.And many things we don't. Evidence is tangible, it can be proven, over and over. It has a formula.

I was going through a difficult time, and a friend said, just have faith. Where do I buy that? How do I hold it and put it in a box? That is ...well...Impossible. In my search to find faith I landed on the verse, 'faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains'(Mathew 17:20). Hmmmm...I thought, OK, let's see how much faith I can muster. Then I did one thing. I Googled a mustard seed and the picture astounded me. It shamed my unbelief. It quieted impossible.It was small. So small.

The picture shifted things, I only had energy for small. Small could move a mountain. Small could slay giant.

Possibility slayed impossibility.

Now to pleasing God - if all things are possible in  Him and through Him, if He mentions impossible, you know it's serious. You know you've been sent straight to the principal's office. You're in big trouble!

A friend and I were talking recently and my doubts were exposed, yet again, and she reminded me - without faith, it's impossible to please God. Doubt is the absence of faith. Then you find yourself on the outside of God's will. You find yourself living with impossible when He already told you all is possible.

I'm a doubter, I think the reason I don't take anything at face value is because - I'm a thinker. I have an over active imagination and brain. I like to oppose just for the sake of opposing- because researching the opposing point is just more fun- it's more challenging. It goes against the grain.  After-all, what good is a brain if you don't exercise it? if you don't think things through;if you don't get your own understanding?

I believe I doubt because when I believe in things, in people, more often than not, they disappoint. And doubt started to accuse belief. It called belief a liar. A heart-breaker. A cheat. An impossible dream.

Doubt, like all things, has an origin, it begins with a planted seed. A seed that dies in us, a seed that we put out in sunlight. A seed we water. A seed that grows. A seed that bears fruit. The fruit of doubt, leave a stain on the teeth, and a bitter after taste on the tongue. It aches the belly. It blocks the heart. It rots the soul.

The fruits of doubt - fear- unbelief- insecurity-indifference- un-forgiveness - phobias. Impossibilities become endless.

The best way to kill a plant, is when it's a seed. The best way to kill a seed? Remove it from it's source of nourishment. This is one of the enemy's cleverest tricks.

Jesus knew we know and believe tangible, he knew we would wrestle with the body and the spirit man. I believe the mustard seed reference is deliberate. Its small, sometimes for most of us, it's the best that we can do- it's an apt small beginning  not to despise.


I understand small, sometimes all we see is small, all we feel is small, all we get is small. A small paycheck. A small raise. A small idea.A small start. Small makes many things possible. Even if you dream big- your biggest dream is small to God. You, he said cannot imagine all the things that he has planned for you. (1 Corinthians 2:9)Imagine that!

So much faith,possibilities, hope, purpose, can come from small.

 

There are times when having faith feels like that lie you tell yourself when you have a cheat day for 5 days straight. Others simplify it to being positive.Having good thoughts. Attracting positive energy from the 'universe'. Faith is more than positive thinking and I dare say bigger than the universe.

 I won't lie-faith is hard for me.Faith sometimes feels like hard concrete on soft shoulders. It's just not practical. 

But

That's where renewing of a mind comes in. When seeing the impossible becomes possible, when you lose your earthly vision and walk without the lines of expectations. You do that faith walk. You believe in possible dreams.

It is possible to please him, with faith, with belief, with holding on to the wind as it whistles through the trees.

I'll go with...blessed is he that will believe without seeing the nail pierced hand.(John 20:29) I'm there for that.

What is your 'possible' story? Share it here so we can grow in faith together.



Scripture Reading: Hebrews 11
 

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