For the love of God! Can we just love?

It's Friday, the weekend. The day to unwind, relax, wash off the stresses of your week with a long shower and raise your glasses and cheer in the weekend. It goes by so quickly.

And today, was just for friends - just me, having long conversations with friends. I am happy for being blessed with good friends. It is God's way of taking care of me. For we all need a Lazarus. A friend we love that if we lose them, we would just..well...weep. Jesus wept. Jesus understood the value of a good friend. It's what makes him a friend to many.

It was a day just to abandon my plans, and just listen, laugh and love. The greatest of these is love...! Some that are old enough might just burst out in song - 'what the world needs now is love sweet love, it's the only thing that there's just too little of '.

The world seems to be at a turning point, a tipping point even, it's the 2nd Friday in a row that there was some kind of hostage crisis, and people lost their lives for no apparent reason; and we all have to wonder...what's the matter with the world?

Are our ideals so far apart that we seize to just..love?

Are our views so different that we seize to...love?

Are our clothes so different that we seize to....love?

Are past mistakes of one time oppressors so great that hate has overthrown ....love?

And we die on cold hard concrete with blood, red blood, making a halo around our heads....

God forbid!

Life as we know it is changing, and the world is becoming a scarier place but I feel calm, for I know to Look Up and not out into the abyss that has become this world. 

So, on a Friday night, I had long conversations, with friends and we spoke about just life....just life, for it is what we have and what we must use to spread the gospel of love that is Christ Jesus. For such a time as this!

1 John 4 :4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is within the world. 5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6 We are of God: he that knoweth God, heareth us; he that is not of God, heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. 

7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 



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Listen- it's not intuition like you were told

 John 2 :5 Whatsoever he says unto you, do it 

I had to get something copied today, I passed a spot, even though my mind said to me -"Go there-"
to go to my regular copy place. My regular place had familiar faces, I thought too that it was cheaper, plus the air conditioning was always on high; living in the in tropics - that is something I can appreciate! I got to my regular place, and the regular persons were not there. They had left someone else in charge and he didn't know how to do the copies the way I wanted! I stared at him, I rolled my mind's eye and I grunted....ugh!

I didn't follow my mind. It cost me about 10 minutes, I had to drive back to the place that my mind was telling me to go to...and you know what? They knew how to do the copies the way I wanted,  they were cheaper - the air conditioning was high too PLUS there was a blessing waiting for me there! Freebies!

If you are an Early childhood teacher, you can appreciate the value of free paper! You can also appreciate recycled materials. At this other place, I not only got things I  could recycle, but an offer to come anytime for more! How cool is that?

I got a tad bit too excited! Then I smiled on my face and in my heart at a God who gives us provision at every turn. Every turn, if we just trust and obey. If I had only trusted my mind's voice, I would have saved myself 10 minutes plus gas.

The world calls it intuition, for years I called it 'woman's intuition', today I call it the voice of my creator, redeemer, provider and friend.

Oftentimes, I would get upset and angry when I get into the car and it doesn't start, or there is some other unexpected delay. I would oftentimes ignore and dismiss that inner voice that says - 'not that' or 'don't go there' only to have something happen that confirms why I had heard that in the first place. Disobedience can cause much harm. But still, His grace and his mercy still protects and provides even in our disobedience.

God is faithful, He is just. It's a daily struggle, and the trust that I am learning to build, has not come overnight, but it is coming. In our most human state, we look so much to the things that we can see, touch, feel, hear- it is indeed sometimes the hardest thing to trust in that still small voice coming from within.

Is it my voice? It sure sounded like mine today when I drove past the first store that held my blessing. How can I tell who's voice it is?

John 10:27  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 And I give them eternal life' and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

Do you ever realize that when you know someone really well, you can pick them out in a crowd? You can even pick them out from behind. You can tell too by just their lips, smile, teeth even! I have steps at home, I know who is coming down the step, just by the sound their feet make on them; the mind is powerful like that. It's the same way we need to know God....without any doubt or reservation, we ought to be able to pick him out in a crowd, we ought to know how his footsteps sound coming in- we ought to know his voice in the wind of chaos that blows in the world.

How can I tell it's his voice?

I can only tell if I spend quality time with him, just talking to him, being around him, having fellowship with him and learning to tune out the world and just listen to him, and only him. No, it's not intuition - its in tuition - the price he paid, so that I could get in - so he speaks to me from within to remind me, protect me, keep me - and to get me freebies - cause he is my provider and he has promised me cities that I did not build. And you know what? I'm there for it!

Listen....

Readings: Joshua 24

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That Friday when death came to all our doors...and we all cried

And someone close to my family has died. I heard the news, late today, and I cried for a minute. Then I stopped. I was too angry to cry...

Angry at death for giving no warning. Angry that death doesn't care about any of our plans. Angry at death because for the most part, we never get to say goodbye.

The last time we spoke, cheeks were still rosy, eyes were wide open with expectations and hope was abound. Perfection wasn't abound, but it was pretty close. Now death came and laughed and there is just a feeling of gloom that has sucked all the air out of my lungs.

I had a planned post, but death impacts us in such a way that all our earthly plans just go awry. I couldn't face the family. I don't have the words.

Then I turned the radio on and heard about the Paris Attacks................... and when you know that numbers don't lie and you are looking at a figure of 153 - dead - my heart just feels heavy and my body weighed down and my spirit broken for a world  perpetually mourning.

Death in the midst of life feels like a worm in your reddest, juiciest apple. When you step into the store and make your way to the fruit aisle, and see the myriad to choose from, then your eyes take you to that perfect apple, blemish free and shiny. You allow yourself to imagine how sweet that apple will be. You take it home, you wash it, and you are momentarily in euphoria. Then you bite. There is the worm- you spit it out, the apple falls. You feel disappointed, the next apple you pick will not be trusted, for a while, you will probably cut it with a knife. Worms in apples - no good.

Death- the only certainty of life. When people close to you die, you think of your own mortality; it's naturally normal. It makes me repeat what Jamaicans often say when people die "What is man ?"

Ecclesiastes 12:7 " then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return to God who gave it."

I just feel sad. We all want to go to heaven but no one wants to die. I don't want worms in my fruits, I don't want deaths in my midst.

But...I know better. I know all the things you are supposed to think and say.

"Death, where is thy sting? Grave, where is thy victory?" But when people die - it just leaves a void. It just leaves an emptiness that even words from the Bible seem hard to swallow; like a wormy apple.

Living without hope, a hope for a life free from people that blow up market places, planes, buildings or shoot people for their own twisted reasons, seems so much worse. So I cling to a God that hasn't lied yet! He says that he has gone to prepare a place for All of us; and he's coming back he said; coming back for us.

We must live ready! 

I can't write anything else...I've got nothing!

The moth, the screaming lady, and the light - let's All come in

Imagine for a minute, a grown woman running around her bedroom with a can of insect spray screaming. Just screaming. Not spraying. Not spraying anything.

Now, imagine on the other end of the shrill, a moth. Not just any moth. A big one. Brown. Spotted, with strips. Teeny tiny googley eyes. Imagine it flying around. It too must be scared of this grown woman running around with a can. Screaming.

That was how I spent about an hour last night. A big brown moth had flown through my window. In Jamaica, we calls these big moths - 'duppy bats'. Translation for duppy - ghost! They are apparently evil, and if someone dies and they fly into your house - it's thought that it's that dead person in 'duppy bat' form! So do I want a 'duppy bat' in my bedroom? I think not. I shrieked.

It flew around in my bedroom, and I didn't take my eyes off of the thing, I screamed- just screamed, and woke everyone up. Then it went to the window and I took my eyes off it for one minute, to get the spray and it was gone. I felt a sense of relief but the fact that I didn't see it fly out myself, I wasn't at ease. I turned the light on and off - no moth. I exhaled. As I was ready to turn in and turn the lights out - it flew straight at me!

It was me, the moth and a can of insect spray. I lived to tell the tale, the insect spray is still here to kill again- and the moth? It died from cruel and unusual punishment from numerous sprays from the tin plus hits from my pillow when it landed on my bed dazed. Talk about overkill!

That poor moth died more from cultural beliefs than from being a scary creature. For as I went into the bathroom, there was a tiny moth by the light, resting, I assume. I wasn't the least bit perturbed by that one. It wasn't the size that mattered - it was the whole - well - 'duppy bat' thing.

I thought to myself - there is a post in this event - I just know it. And then it came to me, the moth are our fears - they fly in suddenly and take route. Every now and again, we overcome them but like the moth; they are there under the surface just waiting to come out until we finally just kill it! Dead.

Perfect post! But then - my father said- NO! That's not it Tanya. Think.

So I thought, but what I came up with made no sense, at least not to me, until I did some reading about moths, and then I smiled at a God who speaks to us through his creation. We will see it, if we look.

Moths are positively phototactic - meaning they automatically move towards light.

I worked at a company that had an all glass showroom, in the mornings I used to come and see dead birds at the door, I felt bad for them. They flew right into the glass and died. Birds see the reflections in the glass, they can't tell the glass is a barrier. I transferred part of that knowledge, albeit wrongly, unto my moth situation. The moth I thought can't even tell that it is flying through someone's window into a house. It must just be directionally challenged. Lost. If it realized, it would never have flown in. Perhaps?

The moth, died, somewhere between all those sprays and hits with my pillow and being thrown through the window - three quarter way dead - for one thing- LIGHT!

Moths, it is believed, fly towards artificial light, not because they are attracted to it but because they use the moon as a navigational source to fly, but artificial light confuses them, so they fly towards it instead. But, I came across this page, that gave a most interesting spin on this theory.

While scientist battle over why moths gravitate towards light, I already know why, and I'm sure, so do you....

John 8:12 says Then spake Jesus unto them saying"I am the light of the world, he who follows me, will not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

The newest moth navigation theory ( yes, there is a moth navigation theory!) involves a researcher called Henry Hsiao, who studied moths and found that they do not use light as a navigational tool but they head straight towards it and circle it - he doesn't know why. Other scientist believe they circle because they are confused.

John 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehend it not.

It is now believed that moths fly towards light, as a way to find a place to hide!( Read the full article here)

I can almost fall off my bed laughing with complete joy.  Isn't it Psalms 91 that tells us to abide in the shadow of the Almighty? Isn't it this same Psalm that says we will be delivered from our enemies if we abide in the Almighty? 

The Light.

 The light we should fly towards and circle until we rest right by Him - like the moth?

The moth cannot help but be attracted to light, haha...interestingly, the article said, the moth doesn't fly much when it's a full moon. Why? It's too bright for them! And even the moth knows it can't have all the 'glory' of the Lord, lest it be consumed.

The big question is? Are we attracted to God as the moth is attracted to light?
Do we go everywhere we see God's light and rest there?
Do we just have to have it, even unto death?
Is the moth trying to show us just the way we should live?

Moths, have brains. They sense. They act.

Right now, if I knew that if I go directly towards something I'm attracted to and its possible that I risk death....I'm not going...sorry

but if you ask me to...............

.....go towards a marvelous light, encamp there, build a tent there, and risk death there.......I might still say....sorry...I'm not going.............not because I don't love God but......

I have a family...
I have kids...
I have a nice job...
I'm comfortable here...
I sing on the choir...
I go to bible study....
I'm already in the Women's Auxillary
I feed the homeless...
I visit the prisoners at Christmas...
I'm a good Christian....already though God - why the whole die thing has to come into play?

And that's when you know....

That's when you know if you are ALL in. That's when you know.......if you actually lived to tell the tale or is the only thing left standing the can of insect spray.

My window is closed tonight, but I thank the moth for flying in last evening. No coincidences. I want to be ALL in, for to die in Christ is gain.

How about you?

Readings: John 1

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Liebester award

So, I never win anything! ....ever!....I think it has to do with the fact that I don't enter anything...haha but I was pleasantly surprised by a comment left on a blog post....it read....

“You’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award”. 
Well that sounds kind of fancy - I wonder what the prize is? A weekend getaway perhaps? That would be lovely...but no...I immediately went t o the link and this award is basically this -

Liebster is a German word meaning “sweetest, nicest, kindest, dearest, beloved, etc.” The Liebster Award is given to promote love, encouragement, and recognition for new blogs.

I want to thank Gleniece at http://vineblossom.wordpress.com/ for the nomination! Thanks for the nod and that big beautiful smile.

She is apparently a super mom, who waters dry places with her words and passion for God.

As I discovered, there is no behind-closed-doors voting process that goes on to be nominated. This is a gesture from one blogger to another blogger (who has also been nominated) to acknowledge the good work they see you’ve been doing on your blog.

But it doesn’t end there. You can’t just say thanks, grab your button, and run. You have homework to do!

I chose to follow most of the “Official Rules of the Liebster Award”, which you can read at http://wording.well.com.

The rules are as follows:

1. Once nominated, make a post thanking and linking the person who nominated you.
2. Include the Liebster Award sticker in your post.
3. Nominate 5-10 (or 11. I don’t know where this odd number came from) other bloggers with 200 or less followers. (This is the hard part, because not every blogger has this information visible on their site. I say, do the best you can with this rule. Who needs the added stress?).
4. Answer the questions of your nominator and then ask 10 (or 11) of your own for your nominees.
5. Include 10 (or 11) random facts about yourself that your readers might not know about you. This is optional.
6. Notify your nominees via a comment on their blog.

OKAY. HERE GOES…

1. What is the best thing about blogging for you? 

The best thing is that I get a chance to just write out the things that are swirling around in my mind and heart. Many times, I discover things when I write that affects my thinking from then on. 

2. What do you find the hardest about blogging?

Marketing, Marketing and Marketing

3. Do you have a garden? If so, what do you grow?

I do not have a garden, I have a pot...haha, where I have since stuck an escallion plant in. Let's see where it takes me.

4. Do you have any pets or take care of any animals?

I have no pets or take care of animals.

5. What is your favorite chocolate dessert? I know. How can you possibly choose just one, right? (But if you don't like chocolate(?!), then what is your favorite dessert).

I'm not really a fan of chocolate per say - I like white chocolate, which isn't really chocolate is it? I love cheesecake!

6. What is something that drives you crazy?

Hmmm....I don't know...

7. Where in the world would you love to visit?

Everywhere...but for some reason Hong Kong has always been on the top of the list.

8. In the morning, is it coffee, tea, or neither?

Neither.

9. What is your favorite season and why?

I live in Jamaica! It's summer all year round- that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

10. What are you afraid of?

I think I'm afraid of not living out my purpose.

11. And now for an extra-credit question: What have you always wished you could do?

Sing - like Celine Dion kind of singing.

10 random facts about me!

1. I would eat ice cream or breakfast- in fact- I have
2. I have been trying to read 1 book for in excess of 10 years. I never got past the first chapter
3. I like tulips
4. I have a favourite colour but you would never find me wearing it
5. I practiced writing with my left hand for a while; it doesn't look half bad either.
6. I find this task quite hard - I realize, we rarely just sit and think about ourselves
7. I'm not afraid of lizards
8. I have no grandparents
9. I do not like my feet
10. I am not a fan of creamy fruits like sweetsop

Now here are my nominees:

1. Jaime at http://youresewtrendy.blogspot.com/ Seeking God in all I do
2. Kathy at http://www.holyvacationqueen.com/ Adventures in everyday Holiness
3. Anika Jones at http://livingforlater.com/  Christian Family values
4. Jane at http://www.imaginegreatliving.com/ A lifestyle blog
5. Kendra at http://www.kendrabroekhuis.com/Grace and Peace

I don't get a chance to read a ton of blog, but these I do read and enjoy. I hope you will check them out and be blessed.

Now for the fun part...This is your mission should you choose to accept it...answer my questions for you

1. What activity do you do that makes you forget time and space?
2. What is your all time favourite movie?
3. Do you dance in public when you hear your favourite song?
4. Whose music are you listening to right now?
5. When Jesus called, did he say your name?
6. What 3 things make you happiest?
7. Have you ever visited Jamaica?
8. What is the best writing tip you have ever received?
9. If you knew blogging would be this hard, would you still do it?
10. Are you ridiculously happy ?

That's it

Tag - you're it. 

Apparently, you are under no obligation to accept this nom, but like all the Hollywood people say - Oh, it's such an honour to be nominated! Now ..... if I only knew what was the prize :)

Smoochies

Tanya....

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name....

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came..

Yes, we all know the words to that song, CHEERS. A group of people,  who work together, and some who stop by and share their life's problems over a tall glass of beer, before they die. A great comedy, a novel idea.

Sometimes people just want to know someone knows their name. Sometimes people just want to know you are glad to know they are around. December is coming. It's a hard time for many who feel like no one cares. It's often a time when many see the bottom of a bottle.

There is someone who knows your name. There is someone who is always glad you came. And no, it's not the bartender.

Jer. 1:15 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Even the very hairs on her head are numbered (Luke 12:7). I don't know about you but no one could pay me enough to try and count the number of hairs in their scalp!

My mom was telling me that everywhere she goes, people are always telling her their problems, always, and she just doesn't know why, and recently as an acquaintance started emptying her burdens on me, I realized - everyone needs that place- that place where God's grace abounds. Tag- you're it!

We are the salt of the earth, we are God's stand in a rough and tumble world, and sometimes people pick perfect strangers, sometimes they pick people they barely know to tell their troubles, for we dare not trust our own. What is our response?

Are we following the instruction to 'Walk in wisdom towards them that are without, redeeming the time?'  Is our speech always with grace , seasoned with salt? (Colossians 4:5-6).

As I sat and listened to the pouring of this, my acquaintance, not everything I said was seasoned with salt, until, I realized, this person was seeking that ever flowing grace. And then I was able to say..He sees, He knows, He understands.

All anybody wants to do is to feel like they belong, the trouble is they join membership clubs, not realizing they are part of the biggest family. The family of God. A family where even if they don't know your name, you are no less important. You have the right birthright. You have the right family name.

Once I asked a question on Facebook, When you say too persons, How are you? do you really want to hear their response? The answers I got surprised even me, because it was then I realized what I myself used to do. I didn't ask persons how they were, I was asking " (are) you good?". You might think it's an open ended question, but it's really not. Most people will just say yes and keep it moving, because I had already inserted what I expected them to respond; giving a signal that I was only concerned with what was 'good'.

But what if we really asked sincerely, "How are you?" not like it's small talk but like we want to talk? We want to really know how someone is coping? How is someone really feeling in this harsh world? Are we prepared to sit, listen, season our responses with salt and show the grace of God?

What if we wear a face that is inviting, so even perfect strangers will see God in us and we will have an opportunity to share God's love and pick ripe fruits? The harvest is plenty, the labourers are few.

The bartender listens, he or she has learnt the art of listening while pouring spirits, two powerful antidotes to all the poisons that beset our lives, the thing is, as soothing as that can be, it soon will become toxic.

The people of God have to be ready to listen to perfect strangers on the bus, in the supermarket, at the doctors office, in our back yards. Trust that the problems they share, the things they talk about, you are the perfect person, chosen by God to help them, I no longer believe in coincidence. We have to be ready for our schedules to be interrupted, and our plans to go awry, for God's perfect plans for the lives of others to happen through chance encounters with us - God's little helpers.

The spirit is waiting to be poured into vessels empty and upturned to God, where you will never see the bottom of a bottle ever again and the most important One will call your name, and angels rejoice, just because you came. (Luke 15:10).

Acts 2:17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:

Will you challenge yourself to listen to the stranger on the bus in order to show God's grace?

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Related Readings: Psalm 91:14

Stretching for worn out muscles

Bend and stretch, reach for the stars, there goes Jupiter, there goes Mars.
If you are an early childhood teacher, you probably know that little tune, if not, use it with your children, they will love it.

Stretching.

Stretching. If you have ever been in physio- therapy, you will understand just how painful stretching is. A few months into it, you will appreciate how much it helped. I'm being stretched; and I think I like it.

I have a problem with procrastination, I tell myself that I work 'better' under pressure, and maybe I do, but It causes way too much stress and loss of sleep. I'm sticking to a plan, these black letters veering across this white canvas is a part of my stretching. I feel tired today and  my feet hurt after standing all day. I do not want to write. I want to cuddle up in bed with procrastination and reminisce about all the time we wasted together. We've had fun. Nothing is more fun than just resting your mind in nothingness right?

Only a job for God would have me break up with procrastination. 

Because procrastination was my bestie, I had issues with consistency, I do suppose persons that don't plan have that issue too, and I've often said....well....I'm consistently inconsistent! That should count for something right?


I am at the right place, at the right time, for the right reason and among the right people. Sit with that for a minute, as I just did. It's stretching time. When it's time to move- you'll know, he'll tell you, if you ask, if you wait and if you listen. 

Nothing is coincidental. Nothing. 

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. 24. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

If there are dry places, dark places, places that need water, light and the power of God, trust that he's going to show up right there. He is not impressed by the squeaky clean places. He wants those places that are hidden from everyone, places hidden so deep that even you have forgotten about them. And if you are totally honest, you will admit, those places need light.

Now, I am learning things I wouldn't have. I'm stretching. At first, I felt inadequate. I didn't have the capacity. I stuttered. Like Moses. I stuttered. I didn't know what to do, what to say, but God said - Go!
I will tell you just what to say. The I AM has sent you to be who you were destined to be since before creation. Just Go. JUST DO IT.

Where we leads - he guides - he sends provision.

I am among the right people, all have something to impart to me. All. Will it be all good? I don't know, but I AM assured that, it, whatever it is, will work out for my good. So I win again!

I often see and hear people quarreling about their enemies, people who don't like them at work or school, but I have come to realize, those persons, are for our stretching too. For as much as we would like to hate them, we are called to love them. Stretch. As much as we want to leave them behind, the Lord promised that he will set a table before me - in the presence of my enemies. Stretch. 

Remember Moses? See what he accomplished? Stretch.

My feet feel a lot better now - stretching always helps worn out muscles and people.

Will you stretch today?

Related Post: God always wins