On Saturday my phone got shattered.
Just four days later, my hopes suffered the same fate.
I was listening to a preacher on Periscope on Saturday, he was
giving a simple, yet powerful message – Psalm 50:23 “Whoso
offereth praise glorifieth me and to him that ordereth his conversation aright
will I shew the salvation of God.” It struck a chord. I
had been letting my doubts speak for years. The next few days, I had fewer
conversations! The ones I had were just with me and my God. I had begun to
understand that I needed to speak life over myself.
If you asked me to explain how the phone fell face down on the
cold hard concrete, I’m not sure I could, but as I caught my breath and hoped
for the best, disappointment came. Remarkably, all functionality of the phone
was intact, the Periscope replay still played, the volume was still soul
reaching, but it was shattered nonetheless. I was running my life from that
device, this blog, schoolwork, research, my bible notes, pictures, just about
everything was on it and I had to decide, should I pronounce it dead or try to
make it ‘worthy’ again? I chose the latter. Hopefully, it can be repaired as
good as new.
There is this song like – ‘When Jesus says Yes, nobody can say
No,’ (and isn’t that the truth) but when you land on the other side of Yes,
that flipside, that BIG FAT NO side – there is
another song you sing.
I had fasted. I prayed. I repeated bible promises. I planted a
seed. I had spoken life over my days. I had been asking Jesus for something my
heart desired, something I had hoped for. Jesus grants the desires of your heart. That same Jesus, after my sacrifice, said…NO! A BIG FAT NO!
On Wednesday, hope, well- it just died – fullstop.
I now, became my phone – shattered but working; fully functional
with a broken screen. If you asked me to explain why my hopes fell on the cold
hard concrete of life, I’m not sure I could, but as I stepped out in faith and
outside of fear, disappointment came with that BIG FAT NO!
Out of all the people in the Bible, I have never heard anybody
wanting to be Job – ever! No one names their kid Job, no one longs to lose
their loved ones, no one wants to have their friends say the dumbest things at
the most painful time of their life and no one wants to lose all they have ever
had. If there was ever a happy ending in the Bible, it was Job, but the
process! The process was brutal!
The thing about Job though, that we all, I’m sure, find
remarkable, was that faith; Satan questioned it, but God, he believed in it.
God believed in Job’s faith so much that he removed that covering from him and
let that Satan run Job through a sieve. He shattered his business, wealth and
family in one go! Talk about overkill!
Curse God and die!
Job couldn’t see the future, he wasn’t a prophet, he didn’t dream
dreams, he, just a man, who loved God. On that day when his hopes were
shattered, Job could not envision the turn- around that lay up in God’s hand
for him – all he could see was desolation. YET – all he
held onto was his God!
His fate didn’t determine his faith – neither must yours or mine
I would take a guess and say that Job probably prayed that day
when he lost everything; I’m sure he made all the relevant first fruit and
burnt offerings unto his God, but that didn’t spare him from being shattered.
God, must teach lessons in faith, he tailors his plans according
to his students. Differentiated learning they call
it in education circles, I have to do it too, it takes into account your
students’ abilities and learning styles – I must teach the way all my students
learn. It isn’t a one size fits all experience anymore. This NO,
was my differentiated instruction.
I had whispered in my prayer time that I wanted an increase in
faith, I had said it out loud too; the word became flesh; God agreed, then
replied with that BIG FAT NO! – Now your move my child.
Curse God and Die!
Job 2:10 But he said unto her, Thou
speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? Shall we receive good at
the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin
with his lips.
Job, did not lose his integrity, and neither will I. Psalm
34:1 I will bless the Lord at all times, his praise shall
continually be in my mouth.
I had whispered for increased faith. God had answered, “I
will grant your request for increased faith, by saying NO, now.
I will say NO now, and see if you will still TRUST me,
see if you will still LOVE me, see if you will still believe
that I WILL do exceedingly abundantly above ALL that
you ask or think.” God whispered a BIG FAT NO and
I shed a tear or two, but my faith did not waiver, and I
surprised myself when I whispered … “Well, I guess you have something better
in store for me; guess I will wait.”
So, that No song you sing, that we have
sent for Jesus but he hasn't come song, I’ll sing it knowing “he’s four
days late, but still on time.”
Martha thought all hope was lost, the family was shattered but God
was going to show up and Lazarus was going to come forth. I was
disappointed, but I didn't die!
Do you think God loves us any less than he did Lazarus?
1Corinthians 2:9 But
as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into
the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
I'm there for it!
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